


Candy

by SabrinaT



Series: Anarchy [2]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV), Peaky Blinders RPF
Genre: Complete, F/M, M/M, Multi, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Polyamorous Pack, Polyamory, Polygamy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:27:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 26,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21723742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SabrinaT/pseuds/SabrinaT
Summary: A boy, in Birmingham, shouldn't be as spoiled for choice as he was. The pool was limited, but that was to be expected. He had more important things to do, his family needed his help and there was money to be made. But no level of aspiration prepared him for the thrilling ride of finding something true, with a girl as airy as a summer breeze, and as sweet as candy cane. Or would it end up being the lifelong best friend? All in all, Finn Shelby could always refuse to choose.I'm @sabrinatonks on Tumblr if any of y'all are interested!
Relationships: Bonnie Gold/Michael Gray, Finn Shelby & Original Female Character(s), Isaiah Jesus & Finn Shelby, Isaiah Jesus/Finn Shelby, Isaiah Jesus/Finn Shelby/Original Female Characters, Isaiah Jesus/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Anarchy [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1567327
Comments: 24
Kudos: 41





	1. Nougat

They were drunk.

They had both been incredibly drunk, and not thinking straight, and tired, and dizzy, and...

Yes, that would be the justification. If anyone found out, if anyone at all asked, they would say that they were not themselves, and that whatever happened could only be attributed to the alcohol. Maybe Tommy wouldn't understand, or Arthur... With his new religious stuff, he would probably freak out the most, if he found out his baby brother had...

No, but why even think about it at all, if the thought of it made the contents of Finn's stomach rise to his throat? No way in hell would he be the one to bring it up, even in the privacy of his own mind. A mess, a downright terrible and idiotic mess. One that didn't need to be remembered, brought up, talked about, processed, or discussed. Isaiah thought the same, didn't he, or else he wouldn't have bolted right away, when they woke up in the same bed, dark circles aunder their eyes, sticky sweat making the sheets cling to them.

_I'll fuck everything._

How the bravado had come to bite him in the ass, how his arrogance and lust had gotten the better of him... 

"Finn! Get down here, boy, right now" Tommy called, making him jum out of bed, get dressed and run downstairs. It was a bit of his worst nightmare, that it was, to come down and see his whole family gathered in the living room, looking like something terrible had happened. They knew, Finn thought, they knew and now were going to confront him, throw him out and his life would be over. 

"What is going on?" Finn asked, trying to keep his heart from beating as hard as it beat now. They'll hear it, they'll know, they'll know what happened...

"The Garrison was broken into last night" Arthur said, cap in his hands, eyes on the ground. It wasn't the first time it had happened, but it was the first time they hadn't seen something of the sort coming. 

"Why? What the fuck happened?"

"Watch your tongue, boy. There are ladies present" Tommy advised, the customary cigarrete between his lips. "Where were you last night?"

Damn it, fuck, damn... what was a decently enlightening answer that wouldn't give him away? Could he lie? Did he know how to lie? Tommy could see right throw him, Polly too, they probably knew it already, and were preparing to say something. One of them, or someone else, someone knew, someone had seen Isaiah leaving, or had seen them kissing by the front door. Someone, anyone...

"Answer the question, boy" Arthur's voice, making his heart skip yet another beat. How stupid they had been, how idiotic, how fucking careless... fucking Isaiah, he had been the reason of it all, buying them bottle after bottle with the winnings from the stupid football matches. 

"I was out. Patrolling near the church. And then I came back here with Isaiah to count the money from yesterday's match" Finn ended up saying, opting for the half truth. Sure, they had been near the church after drinking about five bottles of rum. And then they had come back to Finn's small home, the one his brothers had given him. The same home they both had keys to, which explained why they had managed to let themselves in. 

"And you didn't see anything?" Polly asked, dragging on her cigarette, looking so wise, so... 

_She knows. It's in her face. She knows everything. She knows about Isaiah._

Nothing. Say nothing. Finn, say something, say you saw nothing, stop thinking about what happened, come on man, say something... 

"Nothing" he ended up saying, his brain going a million miles an hour. Polly's eyes sparkled, and that was the last straw; Finn saw black and didn't even feel his own body hit the ground when he passed out. The last thought running throw his head was that he would need to die if his family was made aware that he had sex with Isaiah Jesus. 


	2. Caramel

"They're gone, lad, no need to worry" Polly stated, as soon as Finn came to his senses, opening his eyes slowly and flinching at the light that came through the windows. Somehow, he had ended up on the couch, the living room empty apart from his aunt, whose smirk he knew too damn well to underestimate. The realization that she knew, and probably had known the second it happened, what had went down the night before, made Finn shiver once again, and the modest contents of his stomach rise to his throat again.

"What..."

"Now listen to me, and listen to me good: you cannot tell anyone about what happened between you and the Jesus boy. You absolutely cannot mention it to your brothers, or to anyone, ever. Do you understand that?" she said, before he could even come up with a full thought.

"What does that..."

"Don't you try and bullshit me, child. I know what I'm talking about, and I know you know what I'm talking about. You'd both be going to jail, where you would enjoy much less interesting attention. Sodomy is a serious crime, and one that doesn't grant you any good treatment in prison. Do you understand?" Polly said, making Finn's skin crawl. He hadn't even thought of that, petrified as he was that his own brothers would find out.

"I do" Finn ended up saying, his head and eyes focused on the ground so that he wouldn't have to face his aunt's criticism and disappointment. "I know it's wrong, and I knew it was wrong last night too, but..."

"It's not wrong; just because it's illegal does not mean it's wrong. The law and human nature are two different things, and they often don't coincide. You need to be careful, and I would even advise you to never do it again. But it isn't wrong. And you shouldn't feel guilty about it; plenty of very important men experimented with such things" Polly shrugged, making Finn garner the courage to look up at her, confusion evident in his face. "If this is what you want, and if it's what you..."

"I don't know if it is. I have no idea if that's what I want. I was drunk, and we had been working all day, counting money and doing books. It sort of just happened and then I felt like the most disgusting human being in the world" he confessed, tears flowing to his eyes. If it was anyone else there with him, he would have held them back, but Polly, though harsh and strict, had a soft spot for the boy, and he knew she wouldn't be unfair to him. Besides, she was being to understanding he barely could believe his luck. Never, in a billion years, did he think he would be able to talk to something about it, even if it was eating him up inside.

"Why? It's human nature, boy. You're young and you want to experiment. That's fine. I personally never thought all those girls you hire were doing you much good; one to get you going was fine, but then one a day... a bit excessive" Polly confessed, making Finn sigh. "You want to tell me why you needed sex that badly? Or should I just assume it was the fact that you're a teenager"

"I'm not a teenager, I'm a man, and men have needs" Finn replied, sticking his chin up, trying to look intimidating.

"I don't doubt you, but as you know I didn't have my son by my side when he was going through the same thing. Though I imagine Michael wasn't exactly as red-blooded as you seem to be, given that he did choose to settle rather early" Polly sighed, knowing full well that union wasn't exactly ideal. "My point is that there are plenty of girls you can hire for a couple hours a day to satisfy your needs. And simply for your own protection, you need to keep on doing that, instead of turning to Isaiah to satisfy your needs. I'm saying this as your aunt, who doesn't have it in her to see more of her family going to prison. I couldn't stand seeing you behind those bars."

"I promise I'll do that. It won't happen again" Finn promised, wiping away the stubborn tears that insisted on falling down his cheeks. A man didn't cry, he thought to himself, remembering how Tommy hadn't cried at Grace's funeral, or even when John was shot and killed. The real men he knew didn't cry, and always had a woman nearby, ready to satisfy their impulses. Tommy had Lizzie, Arthur had Linda, and Ada used to have that policeman; but for Finn, who still failed to find a girl he could marry, it had to be the prostitutes. He was a man, and he had plenty to prove.

He was a man, and real men don't fuck their best friends.

He was a real man, too.

Wasn't he?


	3. Sugar

"Can we talk? Finn, please, can we please talk? Finn, come on, open the door, I need to talk to you" Isaiah screamed at the top of his lungs, trying to get Finn to at least come to his window, to give him a sign of life. But no, nothing, the kid wouldn't show himself. 

Inside, Finn was battling so many emotions he couldn't even name half of them. He wanted to let Isaiah in, he wanted to see him, but at the same time he didn't want to talk about what had happened, he didn't even want to remember it. It was his best friend, his closest friend in his whole world, and it was torture to lose him just because of a mistake. But Finn was quite sure he wouldn't be able to forget the kissing, the caressing, the... it had been a bit more than that even, the feeling of Isaiah's hand on his...

No, he couldn't think about it. He couldn't allow himself to go down that hole. And maybe, just maybe, if he let Isaiah into his house, if they talked, if it was mutually assured that they both thought it was a mistake, it would purge the whole thing and exorcise those particular demons. Besides, they were best friends, they were as close as brothers; was it really that big a mistake that would end their bond? And what would happen when they had to work together? He couldn't simply say no, risking compromising questions.

"Finally, I was starting to think you were dead, lad" Isaiah cheerfully said, when Finn opened the door, avoiding looking at his friend as best as he could. Even getting out of the doorway was difficult, as was feeling the scent of Isaiah's cologne in the air. It'd be easier for Finn if he didn't know how much stronger the smell was when it didn't permeate through clothes, when it was just on his skin, his soft, deep skin...

"Almost" Finn grunted, slamming the door shut and turning his back to Isaiah at first chance. "What do you want?"

"Why the fuck are you being like this? What did I do?"

"Are you serious? ARE YOU SERIOUS? HOW CAN YOU ACT LIKE THAT AFTER WHAT HAPPENED?" Finn snapped, turning to face his best friend, tears streaming down his cheeks. He hated himself for bringing it up, for yelling it at the top of his lungs. He knew it, he deep down knew that he'd cave the second Isaiah stepped into his line of sight.

"Keep it down, Shelby, what the hell..."

"No. NO" Finn replied, trying not to cry, trying not to show any emotion but anger: if he had to show anything, anything at all, it would be the anger eroding his soul.

"Listen, I was gonna act like nothing happened, but you clearly aren't on board with that, so if you want to talk about it, let's talk about it" Isaiah stated, losing his cool as well. "We drank a bit too much, we kissed, and then we fucked. That was a mistake, and it won't happen again. That alright with you? Or are you gonna keep screaming?"

"That all it was? You say those things like they aren't awful, disgusting things, things that make me want to throw up and never lay eyes on you again" Finn replied, fists clenched. No matter that it had been more than just that, it had felt amazing and he couldn't stop replaying it in his head.

"You... What? Awf... Disg... Finn, are you... You regret what happened, don't you? You... Fuck." Isaiah said, swallowing hard to keep himself from crying. He didn't want to cry, he didn't want this to happen this way. It had meant nothing, it was just a fuck between lads. But Finn took it to heart, and it hurt him deeply; what happened was wrong to him, and that Isaiah didn't know how to fix. His own father taught him that all humans were equal, and that sexuality was nothing to be ashamed of, and experimenting was fine, as long as it was discreet and consensual. Both Isaiah and Finn had been with women before, and Isaiah had always wanted to try it with a man, to see if it was different, which it was. But if he had known that Finn would react like this, he'd never have kissed him, or let it go any further. But the kid had seemed to into it, he was the one rushing to get Isaiah out of his clothes as soon as he could...

"It's wrong, it's... I'm not... I need..." Finn too hesitated now, unsure of what to say, if anything at all. His bravery had evaporated, and all that was left was sorrow; he could see the tears forming on Isaiah's lashes, those impossibly long lashes that any woman would envy. Whatever had happened between them, whatever Finn felt about it, was immediately replaced by a different kind of horror: that of having hurt one's best friend. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have reacted like that, I don't think I meant those things" he ended up adding, sitting down on the couch, elbows on his knees and face buried in his palms. 

"That's alright" Isaiah said, clearing his voice, trying hard not to let a single tear drop. His whole body threatened to shake, threatened to collapse under the guilt he felt, under the disgust he felt with himself. How could he have done this to Finn, how could he live with himself after having made his best friend do something he considered disgusting, unnatural, hideous? "I guess I owe you an apology, I shouldn't have assumed it would be fine with you, as it was for me. We were both drunk, and I didn't stop to think it would cause you this much pain. I was selfish and I promise I will try to make it up to you"

"It was fine with you? You don't think it was wrong?" Finn asked, looking up in disbelief. He wasn't privy to the education Isaiah had received, and could never imagine the son of a pastor being fine with sodomy, let alone accepting it for himself as if it was just another experience, another notch in his belt.

"Wrong? No, not wrong. Unusual, maybe, but not wrong. My dad says it's fine to be with men and women if you want, just do't get caught" Isaiah shrugged, not even caring about his coat sliding down from his shoulders to the ground.

"Aunt Pol says the same" Finn replied, nodding slightly. His mind was starting to catch up with logic now; they hadn't been caught, he had wanted it, desperately even, and Aunt Pol and Reverend Jesus said it was fine. So why was he reacting that way?

_Because Arthur, John or Tommy would rather be caught dead in a ditch than with a dick in their mouth._

That was it, that was truly it. Being a Shelby came with its own set of rules, rules that Finn tried his hardest to obey. But in doing so, he had to go against his own nature, which had happened several times before. Aunt Polly knew it, Ada knew it, and he was pretty sure Isaiah knew it: he wasn't Tommy, or John, or Arthur. And that was perfectly fine, as long as he did what his surviving brothers told him to do. However, his free time was his own, and as long as it was kept under wraps, and within a safe limit, his brothers would be none the wiser. 

_But I'm not like them. I'm not John, I'm not Arthur, and I sure as hell am not Tommy. I'm Finn._

That was the first conclusion he reached, before getting up, and pulling Isaiah down by the chin, planting a passionate kiss on his lips, as if trying to say sorry and forgive, all at the same time. The second conclusion he came to was that it was easy to hire sex workers, and it was easy to lure women with the famous Shelby good looks; it was even easy to fuck any poor lass that was dumb enough to fall for their charm; however, it took art to seduce and satisfy a man in the first half of XX century Birmingham.

_I'm not like them. I'm not John, I'm not Arthur, and I sure as hell am not Tommy.  
_

_But I'll be damned if I don't know better than them._


	4. Cotton Candy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW TW! Sexual content!

Granted, the kiss had been out of nowhere, and Isaiah was not expecting them to go from a heated argument about how awful having sex with another man, to kissing in the middle of Finn Shelby's living room. He hadn't even considered it, wished for it, given the face Finn greeted him with when he showed up at the door. But he would be damned if it wasn't amazing now, that it was happening: it was hot, and forbidden, and lustful, all the makings of a good crime, and of a good fuck. And if the sex had been outstanding, even with both of them drunk, Isaiah couldn't really imagine what it'd be like when they were both sober, and wanting it so badly they wouldn't even bother moving upstairs. 

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Isaiah asked, not wanting the repetition of their inebriated mistakes. 

"Yes, now shut the fuck up" was Finn's breathless answer, before their lips went back to devouring each other, with even more intensity than before. 

With all due consent, Isaiah decided it was time to work on their clothes, which came out, piece by stupid, useless, overly complicated piece: his coat, Finn's undershirt, his waistcoat, Finn's pants, his shirt, his shoes and his own pants, until they were simply naked, still kissing, still enthralled in how their joint discussion about sexuality had led them to this. 

Even more shocking than the unexpected chain of events, was that Finn took over from him, after their clothes were discarded. It had been Isaiah's idea to begin the process of getting them naked, but it was now Finn who let his own mouth wander to Isaiah's neck, and then down to his collarbone, leaving mark after mark, on purpose, and inflicting as much pain with the little bites as possible. 

"Ah, fuck..." Isaiah let out, but Finn didn't even care one bit about that: he could feel just how hard his best friend was getting with each bite, and that was indication enough that it wasn't only allowed, it was welcome and encouraged. 

"I said shut the fuck up" Finn advised, pulling away only to get back to what he was doing, this time filling his friend's stomach with the same bitemarks, which made the most beautiful shade of red rise to the surface of his velvet-like skin. Fuck you Isaiah Jesus, for being so fucking gorgeous, Finn said to himself, trying his hardest not to go any further, not to be hasty, and especially, not to be done too early. 

"That feels so fucking amazing, though..." Isaiah whispered, knowing fully well he could suffer consequences for opening his mouth, but unable to keep those words to himself. Luckily, Finn had no more dominant personality left, and hearing it like that, put into words, was basically what broke his will. 

"Come here" he said, his voice going down an octave or two. He punctuated his sentence by taking Isaiah by the arm and pushing him onto the couch, wasting no time in straddling his legs, and keeping on kissing his stomach, then his hipbones, and back to those defined abdominal muscles he both envied and loved. Every crevice and every dip made his mouth water, but not as much as the part of his friend's body that pressed against his own body. 

"Shit...fuck, holy fuck..." Isaiah kept saying, each time Finn's mouth went down, near his manhood. But then it'd come up again, to his neck, to his stomach, anywhere but where he needed Finn to go. 

"Beg me for it" 

"What?"

"I said, beg... me... for... it" Finn hissed, getting up and grabbing Isaiah's member, his grasp so tight Isaiah saw stars. 

In truth, Finn was trying as hard not to move his hands as Isaiah was trying not to come there and then. The addition of that request was fuel to their fire, and made it so much harder to keep everything, from their minds to their mouths, to their bodies, in check. 

"Please. Finn, please" Isaiah ended up saying, his teeth grinding against each other, desperate as he was, hard as he was. 

It was enough, just as a dozen strokes were enough for Isaiah to cover himself and Finn in his seed, leaving him breathless. As for Finn, he was pretty sure he had contributed to the mess as well, although he didn't really know when it had happened; probably not long after he started stroking Isaiah' manhood, making him moan, and curse, and causing his face to contort in the most incredible expressions of pleasure he had ever seen. It was real, he wasn't faking it one bit. 

"Shit" Isaiah finally said, looking over the two of them and the couch. 

"We need to get ourselves and that couch clean. My brothers and my aunt have a key" Finn confessed, eyeing the unlocked doorn, threatening to let their bubble be burst by unwelcome visitors. 

"They what? Fuck" Isaiah replied, getting up fast, gathering their clothes, ad trotting upstairs, to the bathroom with the shower. Finn knew he ought to do the same, but he couldn't get over how numb his limbs were, and how amazing it felt that they were. There was also the fact that he had come all over his torso, and for some reason he didn't want to get rid of it, as if Isaiah would stay a bit longer if he didn't. 


	5. Syrup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW! TW!  
> Also major shoutout to @darkandstormyslash who gave me the idea for the Michael/Bonnie pairing!!!

If the family was known for being smug bastards, Finn Shelby was the one who contributed to soften the general view of the community. He was a good boy, always had been, less cold-hearted than the others, less shady, with a smile that came out more easily. He was eighteen, his kin had influence and money, and that meant he too had the means to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, with whomever he wanted. 

But it turned out to be easier, and free, to get what he wanted; to get him to walk like a Shelby, talk like a Shelby, act like a Shelby. It hadn't even been a matter of going to London, or to make a phone call. No, he had done it all by himself, and he had done it without his brothers and sister knowing, or even suspecting. Aunt Polly knew, because she knew everything, but she wouldn't tell. 

So, whenever Isaiah could come and stay over, or even when they knew they weren't needed, Finn's home would be their place of choice. They locked the door, as per Isaiah's request, and spent however long they had testing their limits. It started with Finn taking the reigns, with his hand first, but then his mouth followed. It helped to think of what he'd like having done to him, and then replicate it on Isaiah, whoo was always more than available to be the subject of his best friend's experiments. Finn loved doing it too, to feel Isaiah hardening against his tongue, to feel his muscles tightening and spasming as he moved. 

It was mutual: Isaiah adored to watch Finn practice his craft, the way his eyes closed and only opened to make sure everything was fine; the slight contraction of the arms, the spine generating a ridge running down the middle of his fair-skinned back. The boy was gorgeous, and that wasn't easy to get over. As it wasn't easy to ignore the perfection of that pale body against his deeper one, the light hair against his stomach, those pink lips around his manhood. 

_The boy is gorgeous, and it isn't easy to get over._

Which was why the mere sight of a woman making eyes at Finn made Isaiah's blood boil. The mention of a prostitute made his fists clench. And Arthur's non-stop comments about getting his kid brother a wife became the most hated line of discourse at their dinner table. Isaiah would rather lay down and die than see Finn married to some stupid woman, with the same annoying white-washed face that Linda had, that always made it seem as though she was displeased with something. Finn, his Finn, the boy who got down on his knees for however long Isaiah needed to find release. The same boy who had even gone as far as to offer up his own body, no holds barred, if his mouth and hands weren't enough for Isaiah. That was the angel those people were trying to marry off to the next silly, doe-eyed, quick to blush, blonde bitch. 

He wouldn't have any of that. He wouldn't allow it. He refused to let it be that way. 

_Isaiah Jesus would rather die than see the man he loved with a ring around his finger, and a dumb wife holding him down._

Love. There it was. He loved Finn, didn't he? He loved Finn Shelby. Maybe he had always loved him, just the way he knew Bonnie Gold had loved Michael Gray. And it was hell, it had been fucking hell to see the way Bonnie almost died of a broken heart when Michael went off on a cocaine-driven, months-long fuck with a rich girl who had come out of nowhere. Isaiah knew he wasn't fit for that, he knew he wouldn't make it if the same happened, if some girl came between him and Finn. 

So when they had their alone time again, the same day Arthur made another joke about tying his brother down to some sweet, innocent girl, Isaiah decided the cards would be put on the table, as quickly and swiftly as humanly possible. 

"What do you mean, you don't want me to marry? I can't just stay single for the rest of my life, can I? Fucks sake, mate, if Tommy decides I have to have a wife, then I have to have a fucking wife, I can't say no just 'cause I'm fucking you!" Finn stated, his voice a bit louder than it should be. 

"That's not the fucking point..."

"Oh, but it is, isn't it? You think this can go on forever? Well, it can't. It really can't." Finn replied, trying to stay reasonable, trying to stay smart, trying to... but Isaiah had kissed him there and then, had kissed him softly, and then deeply, and then just savagely; had kissed him with the strength of a thousand desperate souls, with the passion of Greek heroes setting off for battle one last time. 

"Who says it can't go on forever? I sure as hell don't want to go anywhere, and I don't think you do either" Isaiah said, his hands still resting on his best friend's cheekbones, their noses still touching, still breathing in the same air, the air that kept them both alive and sane through all the horror and doubt. 

Finn shook his head and blinked away the few tears that insisted on coming up to his eyes. It seemed like he couldn't stop crying when Isaiah was around, it made him weak, weak in the only manner a Shelby could stand being weak. The same sort of weak Tommy was for Grace, and John for Esme, when he was still alive. 

"I love you. I love you so much, Finn Shelby, and I think you love me too" Isaiah replied, as if he was reading from the Gospel, with the same certainty his father spoke with when at the altar, giving mass. 

"I love you, Isaiah Jesus. And I know you love me too" Finn replied, wanting to freeze time right there and then, and wishing to transport it to when a man in love with another man wasn't a crime, when they could be together without fear. 

But reckoning came in the form of the tiniest of humans, the owner of platinum white hair, lithe feet, impecable balance and eyes a mere shade darker than transparent; a girl with prodigious abilities, jaw-dropping flexibility, and lips the shape of roses. Her arrival had been announced by the simple sound of fanfarre anyone of Romani blood could feel coming from miles away, as those travellers were frequent travel companions on the rocky roads of Britain and the world;

The serpent charmer who would up the antee of their little game. 


	6. Candy Apple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if y'all know the song enter the circus by Christina Aguilera, but it was the inspo for this chapter!  
> Also, I promise this isn't what it looks like for Finn and Isaiah, meaning the serpent charmer isn't the end of them (spoiler alert? nope, it's fine, y'all know I wouldn't do them dirty)

Charles and Ruby had been the first ones to beg for a visit to the circus. They were immediately taken by the big tents, the colourful wagons, and the balloons. Shit, even Finn himself felt like a child when he saw the whole set-up. The smell fof sugar was in the air, the crackle of popcorn and the sizzling of the caramel seemed to put the whole population of Birmingham under a spell.

Linda, with her usual moral lessons, had said it was awful, and probably Satanic, and had forbade Billy of ever attending such an event, much to her husband's dismay. At last, it had been decided: Lizzie would take Charles and Ruby, and Finn would go as a form of protection. Tickets were going fast, but the almighty Shelbies had no problem getting theirs. The children from Grace's foundation had also been invited, and that was where they were, opening night of the greatest show on earth, with front row seats. 

The clowns were the stuff of nightmares, Finn though to himself, looking over Charles and Ruby, who seemed hypnotized by every single thing that was going on, not even blinking oce since the show had started. He was more scared than they were, the youngest Shelby thought to himself, trying as hard as he could to not look away. Instead, he decided to imagine what Isaiah would be up to at that time; having a drink, maybe, or playing a bit of cards. Whatever it was, it had to be better than sitting inside a circus tent, trying not to look away, in fear of the strange men with the white paint on their faces, and unnatural smiles made of ink as red as blood. Even the way they hopped around and laughed made the hair on his arms stand straight up. 

It was a downward spiral from then on: the trapeze artists were flying around, up in the air, with nothing to protect them if they fell. The lion tamer, a big fat man with a whip, ordering magnificent creatures around. And then the clowns again, riding a bycicle for two people, falling down dramatically, making all the kids laugh. 

All in all, that was the worst part: the way the kids, his niece and nephew included, laughed at them, with their high-pitched, innocent voices. They weren't scared, they didn't know what being scared was. But Finn... he knew exactly what that felt like. And the way those kids laughed only contributed to make him more and more uneasy. He risked looking at Lizzie, who didn't seem to be in her element either, her eyes the size of saucers. There was something wrong about it, they both knew it, they knew something wasn't right...

Finn had to look away, he couldn't take it anymore. He had to look around, back at the audience, somewhere else, anywhere but the ring, anywhere but the man with the painted faces and the wigs, the big thumping shoes that slapped against the mud under the tent... anywhere but... 

There was someone there, someone in an expensive three-piece suit, peaking inside, taking advantage of the gap in the canvas that formed the shell of the makeshift venue. He knew that jaw, and he even knew that way of holding the cigarrette, of exhaling the smoke through his mouth and inhaling it through his nose...

_Michael Gray?_

Finn looked around to see if Lizzie had noticed Michael was standing right there, half hidden by the shadows but recognisable by anyone who knew him decently well, but she hadn't; she only had eyes for the children. Finn had this sudden thought that he was the only one, the only one in the world who knew Michael was there, that he was right there, looking inside the circus tent, looking around like a man posessed. Aunt Polly's son was looking for someone, he was looking for someone like his life depended on it. Was he in danger? Was something happening? Was Finn needed? No, surely if something was happening, Tommy wouldn't send Michael. Besides, the family knew their seats, and anyone searching for them would go straight to the front row. So who was he looking for? 

Suddenly, someone or something pulled Michael away from the tent. It had been so quick that Finn almost missed it. But once it happened, Finn jumped into action, torn between curiosity and the need to protect his kin. He didn't like Michael that much, but he was family, and Aunt Polly would be devastated if something happened tp her precious son. Enough was enough, he thought, and got up, as quietly as he could. Lizzie didn't even notice him getting up, nor did she see him slither through the same gap Michael had used. 

At first, Finn though he had lost his cousin. He didn't even know where the guy could've gone, the night was as dark as could be, and all around, the only thing Finn could see were the wagons from the circus performers. It didn't make him very comfortable, thinking a fucking clown could jump from anywhere at anytime, scaring him to death. To be fair, he didn't want any of the circus performers to cross his path in the darkness. It was too quiet, it was too fucking quiet. Where the fuck could Michael be? He had disappeared mere seconds ago, and there weren't that many places for him to hide, or for someone to hide him. 

Taking a deep breath, Finn decided to take it one step at a time: one foot in front of the other, trying not to shake, he turned around, slowly, his eyes slowly becoming used to the lack of light, in contrast with the brightly lit inside of the tent. Still nothing. With the same carefulness, he decided to take a step forward, to where there didn't seem to be more wagons. Finn was so terrified of finding someone, while also being petrified of not finding anyone. The thought of being alone, for a kid born into a huge, loud family, was insane; but so was the mere inkling that there was someone out there, someone watching him. And where the fuck was Michael?

Out of nowhere, the first clue: feet dragging on the ground. It made Finn's heart stop right there and then, his head becoming light as a feather. But then, the thought of Aunt Pol in black came to his head, and he decided to take action in the direction of the noise. It came from behind the last wagon, which was equally dark and quiet. It took all the balls Finn Shelby had, hoped to have, or would ever have to drag himself to the location of the rustling.

However, and despite the courage the youngest Shelby brother had been able to gather, he could not have antecipated what he was about to discover. It hit him harder than the bullet he had took, and it made his very soul shake in its foundations. 

Michael Gray's cigarrette had clearly been discarded, the tip still burning against the blackness of the rough ground, a beacon of light in the middle of the blackest night. As for Michael Gray himself, he stood tall, against the wagon, involved in what seemed, at first glance, a heated fight to the death with someone else, a tall, slim man, who seemed to be putting up next to no defense. But Finn knew that scene too well. What he didn't know was how to process the sight of Michael, the uptight, prim and proper accountant for the Shelby company, and Bonnie Gold, the Romani pride of his father Aberama, the boxer to end all welterweights, locked in a kiss so fierce Finn felt it in the deepest part of his heart. 

_So that's what it looks like when me and Isaiah kiss._

Finn reckoned he stood there, paralyzed like a deer in headlights, for at least half a minute, before any of the two realized they were being watched. It was wild, it was insane, it was... that was love. He could see it in the way Michael easily manhandled a boxing champion, and in the way Bonnie let a much smaller man kiss him against a wagon, with nowhere to go, no space to even let his chest expand as he inhaled. No, it wasn't about space, it wasn't about anything else other than each other. It was the most beautiful thing Finn had ever said, and the first truth he had seen in a long, long time. 

"What the fu..." Bonnie ended up letting out, pushing Michael away out of pure instinct. 

"Finn? What the fuck are you doing here? What the fuck is going on, what the fuck..." Michael said, completing his lover's unfinished sentence from the spot on the ground where he had landed. "How long have you been standing there?"

"I... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... I saw you... back there... and I thought you were in danger... so I... I'm sorry..." Finn stuttered, absolutely petrified. He was pretty sure neither Michael nor Bonnie would kill him... or would they?

"What exactly did you see?" Michael asked, not even daring getting up. His plan had gone so well, no one suspected, no one knew aything, no one, not even his mother, not Aberama, no one. And now Finn, fucking Finn, the family baby, with some sort of saviour complex, had ruined everything. 

"Whatever it was, forget it" Bonnie added, looking straight at Finn with an intensity he hadn't even seen from him in the ring. 

"I won't say anything. I won't tell anyone. I promise" Finn pleaded, kicking himself for not turning around and running back to the tent the second Michael was accounted for. 

"Sure mate, we'll just take your word for it, won't we? You know what could happen if..." Bonnie replied, and now Finn could see the terror in his face. The same terror Finn had felt when his family gathered in his living room the night after he and Isaiah had slept together for the first time. Fear for himself, of course, but mostly for Michael. For Michael, who wouldn't last another day in prison. As for Michael, it wasn't horror in his face; it was something else entirely. Every time Bonnie spoke, his eyes went directly to him, transfixed, adoring, loving, resolute. There was no doubt that Michael would endure a thousand lives in prison, if that meant he had gotten to have Bonnie, to have looked at him in that way for even a second of his doomed life. He forgot the world, he forgot himself when Bonnie was around, and the boxer was all that mattered. 

"I won't tell anyone. I swear on my life, on my family..." Finn started, but then an idea ran across his mind, and it came out his mouth before he could even think twice about it. "I won't tell anyone because me and Isaiah are together. Whatever it is you are guilty of, I am too."

"You what?" Michael asked, finally peeling his eyes away from Bonnie and directing all his attention to Finn, who was absolutely petrified, the blood rising to his cheeks. For a moment, Michael thought Finn was lying, but then it became pretty clear the kid had no reason to do so. 

"I'll admit, I did not see that one coming" Bonnie confessed, finally letting the air flow from his lungs. 

"Shit, Shelby" Michael added, letting out a nervous laugh. 

"What did I tell you about taking your business _inside_ my wagon?"

The voice was feminine, and unknown. It made Finn's blood freeze in his veins, but neither Michael nor Bonnie did anything, as if they were expecting someone else to enter their little drama, as if it was all rehearsed. For a split second, Finn realized she probably had heard what he had said as well, whoever she was. 

"We are deeply sorry about that, and about him, but something came up" Michael said, getting off the floor by taking Bonnie's extended hand. 

"Yeah, sure did, didn't it? You lucky we're all pretty busy tonight, what with the opening night and all that" the girl stated, approaching Finn, who still didn't have the courage to turn to face her, to at least see who was talking.

"It is so good to see you, though" Bonnie replied, going to hug the girl, after Michael apparently did the same. "This is Finn, and he's Michael's cousin. Apparently, he forgot his manners, which goes to show money doesn't buy an education" 

That sentence in itself made Finn turn around, a move he would grow to regret and cherish at the same time. 

"Finn, this is Luna Lee, my cousin" 

"Nice to meet you, Finn, Michael's cousin" Luna said, politely extending her hand.

Finn vaguely remembered Bonnie saying her name like that, and he was sure her name was Luna. What he wasn't sure of was of how God had created a creature like that, and why he had been blessed with crossing paths with her. He would be none the wiser as to what had made him shake her hand, like a proper gentleman: if it was the white hair, the see-through irises, the small hand, or the gigantic snake wrapped around her shoulders and arms. Upon seeing her, his brain seemed to kick into gear automatically, forming blissful images of her, Finn himself and Isaiah, tangled in each other, so far gone it was impossible to determine where one started and the other began. 

"The pleasure is all mine" Finn replied, managing a smile. 

"Now that everyone who knows about this is here, we should do what we came here to do" Michael stated, taking another cigarrette from his pocket and lighting it. "Lu, get me and Bonnie away from here".

That's when Finn understood what it all was; the girl, Luna, a circus performer, was going to help Michael and Bonnie escape somewhere, and they had met there to fine-tune the last details of their adventure. Finn had simply been dragged into it, but thankfully so. He'd seen his fair share of beautiful women, but this Luna knocked them all down several pegs. Isaiah kept running into his thoughts, and the visions of the three of them became more and more detailed, more refined, more...

The show was about to end when Finn returned to his niece, neohew, and sister-in-law. In his pocket, a letter, from Michael to his mother, to be delivered when the time was right. Next to it, one from Bonnie to Aberama, containing the same information. They were both placed over Finn's heart, and he could almost feel it beating against the sheets of paper. It was strange, Finn thought, how Isaiah never left his thoughts, but was now joined by Luna, the strange otherworldly being he had met that night. She was as pale as Isaiah was golden, her eyes as light as his were dark. They were the perfect contrast of shade and light, and Finn could see himself loving both faces of the coin. He loved Isaiah, fuck, he loved him so damn much; but could he also have her in his mind, running astray, owner of a different kind of love Finn could grow just for her, unrivaled with Isaiah? It wasn't a matter of splitting his heart in two; it was a matter of having more than one heart, of having both beating in unison, to the beat of the same drum, in synch, one beating besides the other. 


	7. Pumpkin Pie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slightly NSFW!

A drink. Two. Ideally three. Or more. Finn was yet to decide on that. Whisky. Rum? No, not rum. Gin. Tequila. Something able to distract him. Also, something to take Isaiah off his inquisitive mood, or to blur out the vision of Michael, looming over him, surrounding him completely. He'd never known his cousin to be a drinker, but the man sure was drinking now, head low, looking around the Garrison, just like he had the circus. As for Bonnie, he'd most likely stayed with his kin, back at the camp. Finn had to admit he didn't know much about that strange cousin of the boxer, other than she was the owner of a disturbing kind of beauty, and that she performed at the circus with her serpents, huge, slithering creatures, who seemed to be drawn to her just like he was. Some of the children had screamed when the gigant snakes appeared in the ring, but the second Luna stepped into the limelight, an eerie silence washed over the audience. 

"Are you gonna say something, or am I gonna have to buy a fucking ticket to go see it myself?" Isaiah said, waking Finn up from his memory. Michael too lifted his head, his eyes crossing paths with Finn's for a split second before he dragged on his cigarrette and focused his attention on the pastor's son. 

"It's... it's different. I'd never seen anything like that before. Charlie and Ruby were so excited to see the... the..." Finn seriously tried to get the words out, but he couldn't. Was it the clowns that the kids liked to see? The trapeze artists? The girl who bent her whole body? The man who picked up insanely heavy things? Or had it been the snake charmer, with her ondulating movements, mimicked perfectly by her puppets with sharp fangs?

"I heard they've mad clowns and all that shit. My dad says the circus is a bad place" Isaiah mentioned, sipping on his drink. 

"Linda says the same, actually. That's why she didn't let Billy go with them" Michael chimed in, girating his glass in his hand before swallowing the rest of his drink in one go. "She says circus folk are cursed"

"Wouldn't surprise me in the slightest" Isaiah agreed with a scoff. "If you ask me, travelling around with wild animals is a bad idea. Even if they're not cursed now, they could be very soon if one of them lions I saw outside their camp decides to make a mess" 

"Better die eaten by a lion than eaten by snakes" Finn muttered, a shiver going up and down his spine. "This girl there has snakes" 

Michael, who was in the middle of taking down his third whisky on the rocks, choked on the liquid and wouldn't stop coughing, his strong elegant features going red. Finn hadn't even thought before he said it, it was inocuous enough. But clearly, his cousin didn't agree, his pupils blown out. The plan had to be abslutely secret to work, and even the slight mention of their facilitator made the young mister Gray hyperventilate. 

"You alright, Gray?" Isaiah asked, none the wiser, applying a couple of slaps to his mate's back, trying to help him start breathing again. 

"I'm great" Michael was able to let out, not before shooting Finn Shelby a muderous look, to put him in his place. "Who in their right mind would want to be around snakes? People are fucking insane"

"Agreed" Finn said, still under his breath. 

While the three of them talked, Thomas Shelby himself, accompanied by his older brother Arthur, entered the pub. Of course it was their fucking pub, they could go wherever they wanted, but for some reason the sight of the two of them made Finn uneasy. He was pretty sure his older brothers only went to the Garrison to make deals with less than ideal characters, and it usually ended up with Finn himself having to do something mildly unpleasant. 

"Finn! There you are. Keep an eye on things here, me and Arthur are going to the back room, to take care of some business. Tell our guest to join us there. There will be special protection, too, but the guards are to stay outside, guarding the door. Understood?" Thomas ordered, his voice low and quick, right next to Finn's ear. 

"What kind of guest?" the younger brother replied, making sure his posture was that of a man co.operating with another, not of a kid receiving orders from his boss. 

"None of your business, boy" Tommy replied, turning his back to the bar and going to the back of the pub, followed closely by Arthur, who didn't seem too happy to be there, quite like Finn. Moments like these were the only ones where the similarities between the two brothers were evident, from the eyes to the tense demeanour. 

"What's going on?" Isaiah asked, seeing the two Shelbies walking to the back of the establishment. "There anything we can do?" 

"No, all we can do is take a guest who's almost here to th backroom. Like the good errand boys we are" Finn scoffed, finishing his drink quickly. "Some shady fucking business of which I will get nothing but worries and probably more work"

"It's something to do with the stupid gin Tommy is making. A distributor for inside the UK." Michael informed, as if he was simply commenting on the weather. 

"That's great, bloody brilliant. More alcohol business. I thought Solomons was taking care of distributing the fucking thing" Isaiah replied, his elbow resting on the bar. "Well, either Solomons or whoever is dealing with his shit now"

"Solomons is dead, Jesus. He's not handling anything" Michael said, already eyeing the bottles behind the bartender, to pick his next one. 

"I'll be damned if Alfie Solomons is dead. The bastard is hard to kill, and I don't buy the whole prolonged disease excuse. He'll pop up again" Isaiah retorted, making Finn laugh. Alfie Solomons was not a welcome topic amongst the Shelbies, but neither Michael nor Isaiah gave half a shit about what the Shelbies wanted or didn't want to talk about. Besides, it was a bit better to talk about the Jewish trader than about his own family's off-the-record dealings with unsavoury characters. 

"Not so sure about that, but it is his company that's distributing the gin overseas. Inside the UK, we've no one. And I know Tommy is itching to sell it far and wide. He just needs someone to actual sell it without making a fuss. Paying licquor licenses isn't fun, not to mention the taxes" Michael wisely added, looking down at his pocket watch and sighing. "How much are you willing to bet they'll want me there as well?"

"If they did, he'd have said something just now" Finn laughed, back against the counter, scanning the room. Everyone was drunk, Michael was drunk, Isaiah was well on his way to being drunk, and Finn wasn't even tipsy. The air was so heavy he couldn't focus, he almost couldn't keep his eyes open. Once his drink was finished, he went to order another one, but the identity of the liquid he favoured had slipped his mind. The feeling wasn't foreign: it was exactly how he had felt right before he passed out, the morning after him and Isaiah had sex fr the first time. 

All of a sudden, the front doors opened, and a strong wind came into the pub. Two men, tall, broody, big, entered the room, side by side, hands crossed in front of them. Those guys were insanely big, big enough to crush any man present at the Garrison at tht moment, but that wasn't the wildest part of the duo. That would be the orange wigs, the white facepaint, bruised eyes, and red lines running up their cheeks. 

"Fucking clowns" Isaiah muttered, instinctly reaching for Finn's arm. At that moment, Finn felt so grateful for his lover's touch he almost cried, that strong yet soft hand his only tether to reality. He was starting to doubt his own eyes, but if Isaiah saw them too, the two horribly painted men had to be real. Michael too was seeing them, his face the poster for shock and confusion. Finn didn't even want to know what his cousin was thinking. 

Behind the clowns, even more confusion. Finn could almost hear Michael's heart beating faster and harder at the sight of Luna Lee herself, who had ditched her former terrifying accessory, and had opted for a dress not that different from what Finn saw other women wear, sensible shoes, and an unremarkable hat, quite manly for someone so clearly feminine and delicate. She was dressed like his sister Ada dressed, but she was still so bizarre the normalcy of her clothes did nothing to bring her down to earth. In the clear light of the well-lit pub, her hair really was white, and her eyes were too, tinted by the lightest shade of grey. Her cheeks were rosy, and so were her lips, but that was the only hint of colour she presented. The contrast between Luna Lee and her guards was obscene, making it genius: no one less desirable would go any near her with those two by her side. 

"Good evening. I'm here to see Mr. Shelby" Luna said, having slid her way into the bar, sensible enough not to look at either Finn or Michael, as if she didn't know them. The pub was reduced to absolute silence, under the watchful gaze of the two giant clowns who stood by the door, looking at Luna attentively. 

"They're in the backroom. I'll take you there" Finn said, hearing her words and springing into action. It was only when he spoke that she seemed to notice his presence and existence, shooting him a radiant smile that made the youngest Shelby weak at the knees. He could feel something else too, Isaiah's eyes fixed on Luna, looking at her, examining her frame, her long, colourless hair, her upturned nose, and her round mouth. As for the pastor's son's thoughts, Finn knew them too well: admiration, lust, desire, an echo of his own musings about the girl. Michael was the only one who seemed immune to the aparition of the circus performer, trying o lay as low as possible, avoiding any connection that could ruin his escape with the man he loved. Luna did the same, for which Michael was relieved. 

"Thank you" 

Those were the only words exchanged between the two of them between the moment she came to the door, and the moment she closed the door behind her, leaving Finn out of the negotiation that was likely taking place. His brothers' seemed to agree, leaving him out of business, as usual. 

* * *

"So that's the girl who owns the whole circus? That's absolutely ridiculous, she looks like a character from a children's novel" Isaiah laughed, making himself comfortable in Finn Shelby's bed. What had once been forbidden had now become cosy and nice, sharing a bed after making love for however long they could handle. He no longer felt the need to rush out of the house, nor did he feel as if they could get caught at any moment. The front door was locked, and there wasn't any noise coming from outside. As for Finn, he was truly and tottaly spent, a state in which Isaiah liked him to be in. 

"Yeah. And who else to distirbute the bottles than someone who travels all around for a living?" Finn replied, his right hand beneath his head. 

"Agreed. How old do you reckon she is?"

"I don't know. Maybe our age? A bit younger, perhaps? I don't know, all I know is that she gives me goosebumps" Finn admitted, taking a deep breath. Isaiah moved, turning on his side to face the youngest Shelby, admiring the red hue that covered his pale chest and cheeks. 

"I'll be honest, goosebumps isn't exactly what I feel towards her. She's... beautiful" Isaiah admitted. 

It was sort of an unspoken rule that they were together, and that because of that, sex workers and other people were not allowed. However, neither Finn nor Isaiah were immune to the circus's owner, and the same thought came to force its entry in their heads, simultaneously. The rule was that they were each others', and that was undeniable. None of them had any sort of desire of engaging in whatever sexual activity by themselves. But together... together was a completely different ballgame, one they felt they could win, as a team. 

"She is" Finn agreed, remembering how Luna Lee moved, how she spoke, how her eyes glistened at the sight of Michael and Bonnie together. As for Isaiah, who'd had much less contact with ms. Lee, one thing stood out: the cheeky little smile she had given the bartender, and the elegant way she had gotten on her tiptoes to lean over the bar counter. His mind had clearly gone to one place, and one place only, where himself and Finn took turns on her, kissing each other as they had her bent just like that. 

"I was wondering if you'd consider..."

"The two of us. Together. If she accepts, of course" Finn agreed, reaching over to kiss Isaiah full on the lips, climbing on top of him hungrily, half hard already. 


	8. Peanut Butter and Jam

A plan formulated was better than not having a plan, but from there to action thought was needed, especially when it involved two young men, both extremely eager to get to their goal. The goal was Luna Lee, snake charmer, circus owner, and Romani traveller. The title of Shelby Company employee could also be added, but Finn was yet to become acquainted with the details of that particular distribution deal. He was aware of two other meetings held between ms. Lee and his brother Thomas, but that was about it. Not even Michael knew what was going on, which made it all the more strange. 

However, and after Isaiah had seen that particular Romani, business was not that important. Finn wanted her, a feeling absolutely heightened by how much Isaiah wanted her as well. It wasn't a competition, which could've mitigated their lust; it was truly a shared impulse that they were more than happy to fuel for each other. So when Tommy announced he'd be hosting ms. Lee for dinner at his house, and that both Finn and Isaiah were expected to go, it wasn't the prospect of an excellent meal that drove them to insane excitement. 

"I have it on good authority you'll be moving to your next town in a week. Is that true?" Linda asked, as they all sat at the table. The sight of the freak show that was Luna Lee at such a distinguished table made every single hair on the back of Linda Shelby's neck stand right up. Not even the clear sight of the small silver cross hanging from the girl's simple silver necklace made her more palatable for Linda, who was absolutely the kind of woman to scorn another one based on their occupation. 

"Yes, yes it is. York is next. There's a nice piece of land I plan to occupy as soon as we get there" Luna replied politely, smiling at the other woman, the flames from the random candles upon the table dancing in her eyes, colouring them in red. 

"Isaiah, will you please do our guest the honour of not staring like that? It's rude" Ada had had about enough of asking the Jesus boy for the salt, only to be met with complete dismissal; the kid didn't even move a muscle, despite her elbowing him quite vigorously a couple times. 

"What?" Isaiah ended up saying, the moment he was woken up from his reverie, not by Ada's words, but by the sudden meeting of his eyes with Luna's, still tinted in orange and red by the fires burning. He didn't even notice himself staring at the guest of honour. "Sorry, ms. Lee"

"That's alright, love" Luna replied, smiling at him, her hand supporting her chin, a smirk blossoming on her lips. "I too would stare at someone who is so obviously not one of you. It's natural you feel like I'm an intruder who needs to be watched"

"Not at all, ms. Lee" Isaiah tried to say confidently, but being betrayed by his voice, by the reluctance of the air from leaving his mouth, as if it was trapped there. 

"I think young mr. Jesus here is only one of the vast numbers of both men and women to have fallen captive to how much of an intruder you are wherever you go" Tommy stated, making Lizzie elbow him in disbelief, and Linda choke on the piece of duck she was chewing. It had been incredibly innapropriate, but it was absolutely true. "Isn't that right, Luna?"

"Modesty forbids me to confirm, but I will say that I've had no difficulty keeping my bed warm when I need it. I don't normally prey on your dinner guests, though. Especially not in front of your wife and sister-in-law. It would be rude of me" Luna laughed, winking blatantly at Isaiah, who could swear there and then he'd either wet his pants, or orgasmed at Tommy Shelby's table. 

"Cheeky as ever, eh?" Arthur added, raising his glass to Luna, who returned the gesture. "I remember when you were just a wee little thing, always trying to take snakes and all them animals into your wagon. Your visits were legendary"

"Haven't grown that much, now have I?" Luna stated, with her usual good humour. Nothing seemed to phase her, which was a shocking contrast with how much she affected those around her: disconfort, playfulness, fear, disgust, lust and desire, all sensations the people around her couldn't help but feel. "Your family was always good to us whenever we came around to visit our kin. Despite the small disputes here and then"

"And when will you do us all a favour and settle down?" Tommy asked, knowing very well what the answer would be. 

"Although it is undeniably tempting when I'm surrounded by your comfort and by your beautiful wife and adorable children, I don't think I was made to stay in one place. After all, I was born on the side of the road, a bit before we reached Swindon. It's in these bones, you know?" ms. Lee said it all as if she was recounting being born in a hospital, and raised to be a nurse or a teacher; she seemingly had no intention on treating Tommy as a rich businessman, and insisted on being as familiar with him as she always had been with the Shelbies. Romani to Romani, those kinds of things were the rule, and, whether in a mansion or a wagon, a traveller was always a traveller. 

"So it is, so it is" Tommy smiled, looking right at the small girl and then at Isaiah and Finn, who both seemed to be half bewitched into submission to the infamous seductress. He'd heard stories from her parents about how she would run away in the middle of the night to bed some rich and unsuspecting boy or girl, only to leave their mansion or townhouse with some silver, a dash of gold, a new dress or two. She'd grown out of it, eventually inheriting the circus who afforded her the possibility to handpick the rich teenagers in the audience, to take them to her own chambers, and show them exactly what they would never be able to have again, highlighting the inevitable boredom of a normal and cushioned life. 

"How old are you now?" Arthur asked, prompting his wife to kick him under the table. Surely he hadn't forgotten all his manners to that extent? Linda had never seen her husband being that indelicate, which was saying something as Arthur Shelby was not the kind ogf man who measured his words. 

"I'm going to be seventeen next Spring. And don't worry, mrs. Shelby, both Arthur and Thomas have known me since I was a wee girl, they're allowed to ask such things. And I'm allowed to answer, just to put your mind at ease: I'm not as young as I look, and I certainly am of enough age to have a reputation as bad as the one that reached Thomas' ears" 

It could've been a wish, a mirage, but Finn would swear on his life that Luna had stared straight into his soul when she said that. She was brazen, shameless, and a bit braggy too; it was like seeing a female version of a tipsy lad at the pub, telling his mates about his conquests. He could tell she liked the reputation she had, and both him and Isaiah could easily see her going against her own rule of preying on unsuspecting souls at elegant dinner tables. One way or another, they did feel like they were being hunted for sport, if the way she winked at Isaiah was any proof. It made their bodies tremble in antecipation, the expectation rising on their throats as if it were alive, like a snake, slithering through moss, looking for something to eat. It was easy to picture her batting her ridiculously long eyelashes at whoever caught her attention across the table, and then luring them into an empty room and feasting on their willing corpse, consuming every inch of their skin, before moving on to the organ, drinking blood as if it were champagne. 

"Seventeen? You're a child! You're even younger than Finn here, and he's a baby!" Ada interjected, sipping on her wine. Although her family often forgot it, Ada Thorne hd a good pair of eyes, and she could see what was going on: Finn and Isaiah were absolutely smitten, and she'd rather the son of the pastor fall victim to a fleeting romance than her own brother, who had only been with prostitutes, and knew nothing of what it was like to bed a woman who wasn't paid to fake moan and do his bidding. She too had heard the stories about Luna Lee, often recounted as cautionary tales by her own mother to some of the younger girls in Small Heath. Even Polly, sadly absent from that night's event, had used her as bad example, and Polly was a hell lot more open-minded than her mother. 

"Ada, damn it..." Finn muttered under his breath, blushing bright red. "I'm not a child"

"Of course not Finn, of course not" Tommy added, laughing along with his sister. 

* * *

"How come I don't remember ever meeting you before the other night?" 

Finn almost threw up from cheer surprise. He had simply been leaning against the wall, chatting away with Isaiah, drinking some scotch. Neither of them had seen her approaching their location, and the strange high-pitch of her voice cut through their murmurs. 

"Hm. I don't know. I don't remember ever meeting you either" Finn replied, shrugging with as much coolness as he could. Isaiah turned around too, to face her directly. How come the lass was even prettier up close, and how come her dress was built in a way that made it easy to see her figure, all the curves, the twists and the turns he wanted to explore with his hands, eyes and tongue. 

"We hadn't been to Birmingham in about... I don't know... twelve years? Maybe we did meet but we were too young to remember each other" Luna dismissed, shrugging as well. "Are you Isaiah?"

"Yes, I am" he confirmed, giving Finn a quick look. 

"Don't be scared, I'm not gonna say anything that I shouldn't. But Finn probably told you about how we met the other day. And I want to tell you both that if you ever need a favour... I might be able to help you" Luna said, lowering her voice a bit, and looking a fair bit more human too. The aura of smugness and shock wore out when she spoke those words, even her demeanour changed, surrounding Finn and Isaiah in a warmth entirely made of comfort and trust. 

"Like you're going to help Michael and Bonnie?" Isaiah asked, his voice so quiet Finn only saw his lips moving. No one else was vaguely paying attention, but they knew to be careful at all times. It would be a very delicate operation, one that had to be done in absolute secret. Isaiah had been allowed in on the secret for obvious reasons, he had as much to lose as all of them. 

"Yes. Or in any other way that I can. I've done it countless times before, and I hope to do it countless others in the future. It would bring me great joy to be able to help more of my kin"

That's when the sadness became evident, when her mask fell completely, revealing a young entrepeneur, alone in the world, going everywhere because she had nowhere to go, finding peace in helping doomed lovers find freedom, perhaps and most likely because she couldn't find it herself. It was heartbreaking, but gone in the blink of an eye. Luna looked up at them and smiled, eyes going from one of them to the other, casting an almost blessed light onto them, making them feel at ease, calm, relaxed. The broken young girl gave place to a kind and gentle soul, almost as if she had chaged personalities in front of their eyes. 

"It's incredible that you can help them. Most people would be sickened by... you know. What they have" Finn stated, and Isaiah nodded. Society wasn't even accepting of skin colours that differed from theirs, let alone of two men loving each other, having sex, forming a family, looking after a home. But none of that seemed to matter to the young ms. Lee; Finn had seen the genuine affection and happiness she felt toward Bonnie and Michael, and they were am extremely unconventional match. 

"Most people are wrong. If I had my way, everyone would be free to marry whoever they wanted, to bed whoever they wanted, and to do as they pleased. And excuse my language, but I fucking hate hypocrisy; men who preach every Sunday about the sanctity of marriage, but go to brothels every other day. Or women who teach their daughters that sex is meant to be between a husband and a wife, but who dream of another female touching them. I don't care for social norms, and my performers know this. They are free to engage in any activities with whoever they choose. I only ask that they receive and give consent for their apetites"

As she spoke, Luna Lee positioned herself in such a way that hid her completely from the rest of the room, with a barrier formed by both Isaiah Jesus and Finn Shelby, both way taller and broader than she was. It came in handy too: her words, the things she said, and the way she said them, proved to be too much for the pastor's son, who leaned over, as shamelessly as Luna had the world believe she was, and kissed her right on the lips. The serpent charmer was quick to push him off, looking at Finn in disbelief, and getting ready to profusely apologise, and to berate Isaiah for kissing her in front of his own partner. 

But she couldn't get a single word out, let alone an apology or a scolding, before the youngest Shelby, even more brazenly, pulled her to him by the waist, failing to care if anyone saw what was going on. 

"It's ok. We both want you. But like you said: we'll give you our full consent, both of us, if you give us yours"

Luna Lee was a woman of many talents, and most of the time, she refused to let her humanity and propensity for trouble cloud the commendable common-sense that had turned her into a well-to-do woman. But not even she could deny she found them both handsome; the idea of the both of them wanting her made a deightful shiver run up and down her spine. The mere suggestion of getting into bed with them, because she wanted to, and not out of duty, was intoxicating. She'd had the most difficult time pushing Isaiah away when he kissed her, but the horrible thought of coming inbetween the pastor's son and the youngest Shelby almost killed her. Now, with their consent, with the both of them saying it plain and simple that they wanted it to happen... It made a world of a difference, didn't it? After all, she was an independent woman, and she could allow herself some pleasure once in a while. 

So they left the party, under the guise of ms. Lee, distinguished business owner, needing to be escorted back to her wagon, as her usual guards had been left at the circus. But of course, none of them had any intention of getting back to camp any time soon. Finn's home would do just fine, once the door was locked, and the curtains drawned. 


	9. Saccharine (Interlude)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the only one written in the first person, from Luna's point of view of events that happened before she met Finn and Isaiah at Tommy's house. TW for some angst and for a F/F love story with a sad ending. TW also to a very small mention of non-con/dubious consent. 
> 
> I also took inspo from Miia's song Dynasty for this bit, in case y'all want a soundtrack lol

I met Beatrice when I was eight. She was the same as almost every girl I had ever met who wasn't a Romani, and it was her ordinary nature that drew me to her. Of course, I couldn't go anywhere without being noticed, what with white hair and with an eye colour no one could agree on. I had been in love before I fell in love with her, and I would be in love after she was gone. But she was the reason I took my vow.

_Love will be love, and I will save love until I am loved, until love is all there is, and all there could ever be._

I fell in love with Beatrice when I was ten. She was selling fruit in the market outside Oxford, and I wanted an apple. She had hair the colour of cherry wood, and eyes the colour of freshly wet mud. I loved her the moment I saw her, and I think she knew, and loved me too. Without even saying anything, she extended me the apple I'd had my eyes on, and placed her finger in front of her lips, so that I would keep a secret. I loved that apple, and I loved her. Her hand was soft when it touched mine, the hair on the back of her arm glistened in the sunlight, and as I stood there, palm out to receive my precious apple, I admired every inch of her that I could find, every inch of her I knew how to admire, every single bit of her golden eyelashes, of her full cheeks, of her pouty lips. 

_Love will be love, and I will save love until I am loved, until love is all there is, and all there could ever be._

I kissed Beatrice when I was twelve. We were back in Oxford for the summer, and I had antecipated that moment for the two years we'd been apart. Every single thought my brain could muster was Beatrice, her name was the name of all my dolls, and even of my baby sister. We'd kissed under a tree, secluded, in the middle of an orchard, where big fat apples grew above us, from tiny buds to delectable fruits. There was no one for miles and miles, and only a birdsong broke the silence of that field. The sun was scalding, and I knew my skin would be red and swollen, but I couldn't care; I couldn't even breathe, enthralled as I was in her, my fingers in her hair, her palms flush against my ribs. I could tell she had never kissed or been kissed, but I had, and I knew what to do.

_Love will be love, and I will save love until I am loved, until love is all there is, and all there could ever be._

I made love to Beatrice when I was fourteen. By then, I'd bedded about three boys, and they were all a disappointment; quick to start and even quicker to finish, leaving me angry, mad, hungry. With Beatrice, all I could feel was pleasure. I couldn't feel anything else, couldn't hear, couldn't speak, couldn't breathe. Again, she had never done anything like that, but I had, so I showed her what to do, where to touch, where I had begged those boys to touch me, to no avail. Beatrice wasn't in a rush, she hardly ever was. So she did as I asked, and, in turn, I did what I was asked. 

_Love will be love, and I will save love until I am loved, until love is all there is, and all there could ever be._

I lost Beatrice when I was fifteen. We went back to Oxford for the summer, and although I didn't love her like I had before, I still felt as if seeing her would heal the wounds caused by sleeping on the floor of a wagon, of taking care of six younger brothers and sisters, of being offered to land owners to pay the price of settling a circus in a good piece of land. By then, by the time I saw Beatrice for the last time, I had lost the ability to feel anything stronger than spite. Seeing her didn't change it, seeing her didn't change a thing. The love I once felt was only infatuation, a teenage dalliance that had gone too far due to the grim reality I had to face. One day, when I no longer loved her, I arrived at the market, to buy some apples. We had some more money now, and I didn't have to get the fruit as a present. Her stall was there, but there was only a man there, looking over the produce, sizing me up when I approached him. 

"Where's Beatrice? She's a friend, and I would like to..."

"Beatrice died in jail. She was caught kissing another woman, and the mayor sentenced her to death without a trial" the man simply said. 

No, I didn't love Beatrice anymore when she died. But I did know one thing: I had loved her, she had been the only tether to reality I had when the bleak midwinter threatened to kill me with its icy fangs. And from then on, I built my heart on those foundations. First, reality had to be faced head on, as the anchors to life as it was could be gone without notice. Second, whatever I could do to make sure no one else would rot in jail for love, I would do. 

Sadly enough, that meant I needed means. And although my parents were the owners of a growing business, they didn't like the idea of sharing with their oldest daughter. I was good for one thing: the shock value of enchanting pythons on a circus ring. But they wouldn't help, they wouldn't understand, and they wouldn't be of any use. Besides, it would be nice not to be beaten with a belt twice a day simply for existing. My brothers and sisters stayed with the only relatives of ours who actually had a home and had settled long ago. As soon as I rushed them and their things there, I let my babies have my parents, who were fast asleep, drugged with a potion I'd bought off a girl in London, who sold little vials out of a small studio in Camden Town. 

All in all, their lives were a small price to pay for all the lives I'd save. Furthermore, I was no longer required to beg and fuck for a piece of land: we had plenty of money to rent a good space, money which my parents decided to hoard or spend on alcohol. By the time I gathered all our cash and built books from scratch, I found myself with the means to settle down myself and live comfortably. But the circus was my home, my family; luckily, it was also a great way to hide and move people, without being given a second look. 

_Love will be love, and I will save love until I am loved, until love is all there is, and all there could ever be._


	10. Sorbet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Need I say it? Yes, I do. NSFW AF Y'ALL GET READY

"You've your own house? Damn" Luna whistled, as Finn busied himself looking for the key, only to have Isaiah retrieve it from his coat's pocket. "Shelbies really are rich"

"You bet" Finn replied, opening the door, and allowing both Luna and Isaiah inside. He always made sure he entered the house last, to make sure they hadn't been followed. Tonight, even half hard and eager as hell to be alone with his two guests, it was even more important. Part of being a Shelby was never skimp on security, even with the promise of his wildet fantasies about to be fulfilled. 

No, there was no one there, no one had followed them, everything was safe. That assurance was enough for the youngest of he handsome Shelby brothers to allow himself to feel the pins and needles of antecipation spreading throughout his body, numbing his hands, making all the blood in his system rush to his cheeks and his groin. It was difficult to shut and lock the door in that state of excitement, but Finn managed, as he had managed before. The antecipation of pleasure wasn't new to him, as the nights and stolen moments with Isaiah were always somewhat planned and antecipated; now, the feeling was tenfold, the female presence of the snake charmer enhancing the chances of an unforgettable night. 

"You ok there, lad?" Isaiah called, noticing Finn seemed to be stuck to the door, unable to move a muscle. As for the pastor's boy, he had already poured the three of them drinks. "Having second thoughts?"

"If you are, it's absolutely fine, I can go back to camp and..."

Luna did try to speak, she really did. But out of nowhere, she found her mouth covered by Finn Shelby's lips, his hands flat against her back, pulling her to him. His tongue intruded into her mouth, and was welcome in a split second. From where Isaiah was standing, it was like his best friend was paralysed for a minute, but then snapped back into life, and didn0't even entertain the idea of allowing Luna to have her drink. He was kissing her fiercely, passionately, but for Isaiah, it was anything but jealousy-inducing. He had to swallow the insane amount of saliva the sight had provoked, the two of them looked like fucking angels, lit by the moonlight, kissing as if they'd been touch starved for centuries.

It was also out of nowhere that his own participation was called upon. Luna's small yet firm hand reached for his collar and dragged Isaiah closer, kissing him just as hard as Finn had kissed her. With one hand, Luna Lee kept Isaiah in place as she kissed him hungrily; with the other, her right one, she grabbed a handful of Finn's coat and pushed it off his shoulder. It was enough indication for the boy, who quickly took it off and threw it carelessly on the floor. Then, off came his undercoat, his vest, and his shirt, all the while his eyes fixed on the kiss the other two shared, his lips glued to Luna's neck, to her shoulders, to her shoulderblades... Finn's hands dared to latch onto Luna's thighs, coming up to lift her simple evening dress past her garter. Having the youngest where she wanted him, Luna decided to use her hands to undress the older one, the one with the deep skin and skilled tongue. 

Now it got better, Luna thought to herself, as she felt both naked torsos trapping her, one in front of her, the other right behind her. They were so much bigger than her, so strong, she felt almost powerless. But then it became quite obvious she was the one holding all the cards, as the simple raising of her hand to reach for Finn's pants was met with fumbling from both parties, in a haste to get that specific item of clothing off. 

"You have a bedroom?" Luna whispered, each of her soft palms roamed over their erections, one for each, eliciting a small moan and a definite groan. 

"Fuck yeah he does" Isaiah muttered, taking it upon himself to rid Luna of her dress, leaving her in a silk slip, which rode up her thighs when he picked her up, making sure her legs were around his waist. "You too, come here"

With Luna around his torso, and dragging Finn by his arm, Isaiah made way to the bedroom, in the upper floor of the small house. If Luna Lee wanted a bedroom, by God she would have a fucking bedroom, and she would have it right there and then. Finn didn't even protest, he just allowed Isaiah to take control. It seemed like the pastor's son was the sanest of them all at that moment: Finn couldn't think of anything else other than how hard he was, how hard Isaiah was, and how good Luna Lee, owner of a circus, looke din just her underwear; Luna, the aforementioned circus owner, shared his first two interests; Isaiah, a man of method and determination, seemed to have one purpose and one purpose only, which was getting the three of them to the bedroom. 

"Now what?" the way Isaiah said it, as he plopped Luna and Finn onto the bed, made them both erupt into laughter. Shit, it had all been so seamless until then, and now Isaiah had broken their bubble, by admitting he didn't know where he was going after all that bravado. 

"Well, now you'll do me a favour, switch spots with me, and get the two of you naked" Luna replied, getting up and going to stand at the foot of the bed. She was mildly surprised Isaiah did as he was told, but then again she had seen deer caught in headlights before. It was pretty clear that none of them had ever engaged in anything like this, and neither had she, but she had plenty of experience otherwise, which included keeping her cool when others simply could not. 

The sight of those two fumbling with eachother's underpants almost made her lose it too, though. While they busied themselves with the remainder of their clothes, she did the same with hers, throwing away her slip, her garter and stockings, leaving only her brassiere and underpants. Only when she was down to the bare essentials did Luna allow herself to join Finn and Isaiah, who seemed as if they were on the verge of meeting their maker. 

"You gonna do something or are you just gonna stare at me until you come all over? Hm?" Luna asked, snapping her fingers in front of their faces, trying to get them to do something. It was just like her snakes, she remembered, who were hesitant to attack their prey, but once they gained the courage, were relentless. She simply had to make sure they actually got over that hurdle, allowing themselves to do exactly what they'd brought her there to do. 

"You sure about this? All of you?" Finn asked, looking over the two of them, his eyes a bit darker than usual. Being met with two nods, he decided to be the one to take action. Isaiah held the reigns first, Luna had taken them next, so it was his turn. "These are coming off then" he added, getting on his knees, and doing his best to undo the bra Luna still wore, which he achieved after receiving a bit f help from both her and Isaiah, who supervised the back with all the hooks. "And these, I cannot stand seeing you covered one more fucking second" 

Getting a woman naked was a lot harder than getting a man to the same state was the conclusion both Finn and Isaiah came to. Men didn't wear stuff with devilish hooks and weird straps, nor were they able to conceal their arousal. Despite that, it sure was rewarding to be met by the ridiculously perky nipples, the soft stomach, the curves and the delicate features of a woman as perfectly sculpted as Luna Lee. They'd been frantic before, but now it was even wilder, as they couldn't decide what they wanted to touch, kiss and suck first. 

Once again, it was Finn who took control of the situation, picking Luna up, placing her on the bed, and giving her a look before spreading her legs open. 

"Look at me. If someone hesitates before touching me again, I will scream. I've given you my consent, so please, please, I am BEGGING YOU, don't hesitate" Luna said, the impatience evident in her face. 

"Oh yeah? No hesitation? Just go ahead with it?" Isaiah asked, exchanging a look with Finn, who smirked devilishly. 

"I am literally begging you, Isaiah. I could not be more clear if I... holy shit" she let out, as the biblical saying ask and you shall receive became her reality. Finn was looking over them as Isaiah decided to simply plunge into her, making absolutely sure to cover her body with his, crushing her in the best way possible. His manhood inside her was insane, but even better was the way Finn laid beside them, alternating between kissing her neck and kissing Isaiah's lips. 

Normally, any woman would attest to the importance of no one simply penetrating her out of the blue. Luckily though, the necessary lubrication had gathered long ago, maybe when the door had been locked. So, although highly risky, the move had been welcome. 

"I might die" Isaiah muttered, as his hips snapped against her thighs. It was, again, incredibly funny, but god damn it, neither Finn nor Luna could laugh. 

In fact, none of them could do much of anything. Between the sound of Isaiah plunging into Luna, the sticky sounds of Finn kissing the both of them, not even breathing was possible. Only when it was all said and done, and the three of them were a mess of bodily fluids, sweat and saliva, did they allow themselves to laugh, hysterically and loudly. It wasn't that serious. Nothing was really. 

It only got real when Finn and Isaiah woke up, and the absence of Luna Lee, snake charmer and gin distributor, made their hearts sink. 


	11. Truffle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW!

"Do you think she regretted what happened and fled because of it? Fuck, if that's what it was, I don't think I'll ever forgive myself" 

Isaiah said it, but Finn felt the same, and had felt the same for the couple of days that had gone since their little experiment. Two days where they hadn't seen Luna Lee, or even heard from her. She hadn't shown up at the Garrison, she hadn't showed up at the Shelby manor, and she sure as hell didn't roam the streets. As for the circus camp, the two boys din't really have the guts to go there, to go looking for her. 

"She consented, Isaiah. She gave us her word that it was fine with her. And let me tell you, she didn't seem like she regretted anything once we were done" Finn replied, trying to bring calm into the conversation. "I'll say more, I can bet Luna has had double or triple our shags"

"Pretty obvious, yeah. Finn, it was the best night of my fucking life, mate. It really was. Damn, it was incredible. As if being with each of you wasn't already mind blowing, the both of you was insane. Absolutely fucking insane" Isaiah confessed, making Finn laugh nervously. 

"Best night of my life too, mate. Seeing you balls deep inside that woman was... fuck, it was something else" Finn agreed, remembering the whole thing vividly. "She is something else"

"She is. I haven't been able to get her off my mind. It happened when we first slept together too, I couldn't get you off my mind, and then I understood I loved you, and it all made sense. And I do love you, Finn. More now than ever"

"I love you, too. I could see us loving her, too. Together. Like that night" Finn risked saying, making damn sure Isaiah understood what he was saying. It wasn't him, Finn Shelby, loving Luna Lee, exclusively. It was him, and Isaiah, loving her, welcoming her into the love they shared. It was easier to think than to put into wirds, but they'd known each other since they were babies, even before that maybe. What one said, the other agreed on, what one thought, the other decoded. 

"Really? Yeah, I guess... I guess it did cross my mind" Isaiah confirmed, looking down at his hands. They were just sitting at Finn's breakfast table, fully ready to go and face the day. But their days were now filled with Luna, with each other, and back to Luna again. The record had to be set straight, and if it couldn't between them, it would never be set with her, the object of their joint affection. "It's unconventional at best, but my dad told me about some tribes, in Africa, that have a matriarchal kind of society. Where a woman has multiple men, and they live like that"

"Isaiah, no disrespect for your dad or the tribes in Africa... but I'm pretty sure the two of us being together has proved nothing on this earth is conventional. So fuck it. Fuck the rules. We'll go to Luna Lee, and we'll go to Luna Lee today, to tell her we are falling in love with her. And that if she wants to give it a shot, we'll be right here" Finn stated, getting up from his chair and extending a hand for Isaiah to shake. The pastor's son did exactly that, and the pact was sealed. 


	12. Carrot Cake

Everyone in Small Heath stopped and stared at the spectacle going on right in front of their eyes. It really was incredible, seeing the two Peaky boys, caps and all, each holding a big bouquet of flowers, a look of determination plastered on their face. Even Tommy had seen the two of them through the window of the Garrison, and it made him laugh.

"You two idiots want to explain what this is all about?" Tommy even went as far as to get out of the pub and go talk to them, hoping seriously it wasn't something where he'd have to pick up the pieces of his kid brother, and take him to the undertaker.

"No, we don't really" Finn replied smuggly, not even stopping to answer his brother. He was a man on a mission, while also offering moral support to another man on a mission. The mission was one and the same, and since they had to do it, they decided to do it together. That didn't mean they'd be open about it though, and certainly not with Thomas.

"What is it with the flowers though? Finn, Isaiah. What the fuck is going on?" this time it was Arthur, who had been as puzzled as his younger brother. "You going to visit someone's grave?"

"No. We are going to the circus" Isaiah finally informed, stopping in his tracks, and making Finn stop too. It was probably not a good idea to talk it through on the street, but hell, they wouldn't stop asking questions.

"To the circus? What in the love of fuck would you go to the circus for?" Tommy enquired, his surprise increasing by the minute. Were they both snorting fucking snow? What the hell? Had everyone lost their fucking minds?

"To see Luna. These are for her" Finn informed, puffing his chest, truly not understand why Tommy looked at him as if he should be commited to a mental institution. It wasn't that odd for two gentlemen to offer flowers to a lady. "We need to go now"

"I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, Finn, but she's not here anymore" Arthur said, making the two boys freeze in their tracks, ice spreading through their veins, blocking out any emotion other than horror and surprise. She what? She was supposed to be there for a week more, and they had planned to convince her to stay forever, with them. Where had she gone? Were they right? Did she regret what had happened, and decided to get the hell away from there? Away from them?

"She left early this morning. For York" Tommy added, realising then the two poor fuckers had fallen for her, and were probably going to try and get her to stay and marry one of them. Little did they know Luna Lee had zero intention to marry anyone, let alone one of the two clumsy kids.

"Fuck" Isaiah let out, throwing his flowers to the ground, and stepping on them. Finn was a little calmer, but only because a plan was brewing in his mind. If he had to go to York to get their girl back, by fuck he'd go to York, he'd go to the end of the fucking world if needs be.

"I need a car" Finn said, full of resolve. "We're going to York"

"Like hell you are. It's a long drive, and you can't fucking drive" Tommy replied, taking both boys by the arm and throwing them inside the Garrison. "Listen to me, and listen carefully, you two idiots. Luna Lee isn't the kind of girl you marry. I don't know what's gotten into your stupid heads, but you need to get it together, go about your business, and forget you ever met her. That clear?"

"No. No, Tommy, that is absolutely not clear. You never married the kinds of girls you're supposed to, no one in our family ever does" Finn said, stepping up to his brother, who quickly remembered they were now the same height. "So you need to accept the fact that if I ever marry someone, that someone is Luna Lee, and if I need to run away from you to be with her, I will. That clear?"

In the background, Isaiah was almost bursting with pride. Shit, he looked so strong, so passionate, so perfect. And shit, a bit intimidating as well, the way he stepped up to the mighty Tommy Shelby like that, to secure himself, Luna, and Isaiah, to make sure the three of them could be together, could figure shit out on their own. Of course one of them would have to marry her, and it made perfect sense that it was Finn. It wasn't anything to be jealous of, it was politics, it was what was necessary. By marrying Finn, she would marry Isaiah too, and they would be bound forever.

"You want to marry Luna Lee, eh? Alright, suit yourself. But let it be known I will not move a finger to find her and get you to her. That's your job if you want this to happen. And in the meanwhile, I will consider giving you two my blessing" Tommy concluded, sitting down and lighting a cigarrette. He'd be damned if Luna actually accepted a fucking marriage proposal, and he'd be damned if the kid wasn't over it by morning.

"As if I need your fucking blessing. Come on, Isaiah" Finn retorted, pulling his best friend up by the arm and leaving the pub. Only when he made sure he found a safe place, did they kiss, deeply and passionately, as if sealing their interlocked fate.

"We'll find her, Finn. I know we will" Isaiah muttered, breathing heavily.

"I know. I know. It'll be fine" Finn replied, as they both started to laugh hysterically, feeling on top of the world.


	13. Tuille

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW!  
> Y'all this is sorta explicit so please don't read it if you're not comfortable with that.

Isaiah always thought Finn would be the one to do it; fuck, Finn also thought it too. He was absolutely ready to do it, had been for the longest time. But reality intervened, and none of that came to be. 

"Slowly, please" Isaiah requested, laying on his stomach, bracing himself. In the heat of the moment, he wanted Finn to do it, he wanted Finn to be his, and he wanted to be Finn's, no questions asked, with nothing left to say. Life was short enough, they both knew it; and even shorter for people who ran with gangs, like they did. Nothing could be left unsaid, and death couldn't be undone. So whatever they wanted, needed to be done, and needed to be done with as little hesitation as possible. 

"Yeah, no problem" Finn replied, kneeling carefully, one knee to each side of Isaiah's body. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yeah, do it. Finn, please" Isaiah assured, trying to get over the need to turn around. Finn had asked that he didn't, and he would rather die than go against his wishes. So when he felt his best friend, his lover, easing into his body, inch by painstaking inch, white-hot heat spreading through his body, there was nothing he could do but sigh. 

"Am I hurting you?" Finn asked, closing his eyes, trying to keep going, and avoid coming all over, five seconds into this new experiment. 

"No, no, that feels incredible, don't stop" 

So, Finn didn't stop, didn't stop until they had to move together, the pleasure, the sweetness, the abandon, taking over them. There was nothing else in the world, nothing else in their bubble, nothing else in Birmingham. The Peaky Blinders, the Garrison, the weapons, the cocaine... nothing. Nothing else. 

"Shit, shit... shit, Finn..." Isaiah called, his hands searching around the bed for something. Finn had no idea of what was happening, but by fuck Isaiah looked desperate. 

The high they managed to achieve together was of epic proportions, both coming almost simultaneously, wave upon wave of spasm taking over their bodies. But of course, of fucking course, there was something missing. Isaiah knew it, even while his best friend fucked into him with all his might; Finn knew it, even while he was balls deep inside the man he loved.

They missed that soft skin, they missed having someone watching them while they kissed, and fucked, and tried to forget about what life was like when they weren't together. They missed the sweetness of her lips, the curves of her body, the way her blonde hair fell over her back when she knelt before them, or for them. Most of all, they missed her eyes, the warmth of her thighs, the snugness of her body. 

"I don't know how we're going to survive without her" Isaiah said, once they were done sharing their thoughts, agreeing on that fundamental truth. "I love you, Finn. I've told you this. And there is nothing in the world more amazing than you and me together. But you and me... you and me are all braun and no brain, lad"

"I know. I know. Isaiah, I think we did fall in love with her. Not just me, and not in spite of loving you. I love you both, and it's killing me inside to not..."

"Not having her by our side when we... did what we... what we just did" Isaiah agreed, letting out a deep sigh. 


	14. Gum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW! This is also quite explicit, so bare that in mind!!

"I reckon this means we have to go straight ahead, and then take the third exit" Isaiah said, looking over the dashboard onto the road. It was late at night, the world was meant to be asleep, but of course they weren't. 

"Yeah, I thought the same" Finn replied, hoping the rain would hold on until they were, at least, in a better terrain. The car was in good condition, but none of them knew how to drive that well, and the rain was dangerous. "You think they've noticed we're gone?" 

"What? No, everyone is either sleeping or fucking at this hour" Isaiah laughed, doing his best not to be scared. York was a long way away, and he had only driven a couple of times. But desperate times called for desperate measures, and those were desperate times. Three weeks went by before they both gathered the courage to go to York and ask Luna back to Birmingham, to them, to the couple that missed the way she completed them. There was no guarantee that she would still be there, but it was the place she had mentioned at the dinner table. They could gather more leads once there, in case they missed the circus. 

"Do you think it'll work? If we make it in one piece, that is" the youngest Shelby asked, his nails digging into his sweaty palms. He didn't even want to know how Tommy would react when he realised they had stolen one of his cars, but now it was done, and their adventure would have to carry on, for better or for worse. Isaiah hesitated a bit before replying, also pondering whether he would rather die in a car accident, or at Tommy Shelby's hands. "What if we can't find her? Ever again?"

"Finn. You need to calm down. We both do. Don't look back, don't think about Birmingham, don't think about anything else other than me, and Luna, and how right everything was when we were together. Focus on that, love. I am begging you to keep it together, if you crumble, I'll crumble, and I've been on the verge of crumbling for a very long time" Isaiah confessed, hitting the brakes and laying his tired head on the wheel. "I have been positively shitting myself ever since we first kissed; I have not known peace since I fell in love with you. The mere thought of someone finding out, the consequences it would have... for me, I don't give a shit, I'm willing to die, I might even be ready to die. But I'll be damned if I can even... if I can even think about losing you. About someone hurting you, or making you suffer"

"None of that is going to happen, none of that, my family would never let us go to jail, never..."

"What about the way people would look at us when we as much as left the house? They'd call us the most horrible things, they'd try to hurt us, scare us into running away. I don't know about you, with your mighty Shelby last name, but my father is a priest, Finn. Do you even know what that would be like for him?" Isaiah was full on crying now, and Finn's heart couldn't take it. With his arms around his partner, he kissed every bit of skin he could reach, trying to calm him down, trying to make sure he would never feel like that again. If only there was a way of ensuring that none of that would ever come to be, if there was any way of...

"Let's go then. Let's leave Birmingham. Ask Luna to do for us what she did for Michael and Bonnie. Let's just go away, let's offer to work for her. She'd find a way for us to be together, and have her there by our side. Run away with me" Finn asked, making Isaiah lift his head, the tear trails shining with the sparse light of the headlights. "Let's go, you and me, together. Fuck Birmingham, fuck the Peaky Blinders, and fuck everything else"

"I can't do that to my father. Since mom died, he's... he needs me. As much as I want to do just that, I can't. It would break his heart, and I don't think he'd survive another loss" Isaiah said it inbetween sobs, his voice breaking, the tears flowing from the mere mention of his mother. She had been the most amazing woman int he world, the love her and his father shared the most beautiful and purest thing there had ever been. She'd stayed during and after the war, never even giving their union a second thought. When she died, Jeremiah stopped talking about God as a merciful being; the loss of an angel too cruel to believe in that notion. 

"Fuck..." was the only answer Finn could give. For a second, he thought he had cracked the code, that he had it all figured out, and solved. But nothing was ever that easy in the first half of the 20th century, especially when you were a man in love with another man, who so happened to be the priest's son. It also didn't help that the both of them harboured a burning passion for an underage circus owner, who trained snakes. It was like a fucking picture, a bad romance novel. It would surely be entertaining if it was entertainment and not their reality, a reality as bleak as the road ahead of them. 

"The only way I can see this working, the only way we can have it all, is marriage. We won't be the first same-sex couple to do it either, I'm sure. Find someone to marry, to at least stop people from gossiping, or accusing us of sodomy to the police" Isaiah concluded, his tears finally stopping, and resolution taking the place of sadness. "Now, I would absolutely marry the first girl that walked into the Garrison, and I would fuck her once a week too to keep up appearances. But you and I know that there is no woman it would ever work with other than Luna Lee. No one else would make us happy, would accept us, other than her. And Finn, I... I swear to fuck I think I love her, too. Just thinking about her, just saying her name makes me dizzy"

"You're mine, and I'm yours; and together, we choose to be hers, too" Finn knew how his love felt, because he felt the same. What was more, he felt as if he couldn't take it anymore: even if the distance from him to Isaiah was minimal, his arms still around his partner, Finn needed more. To that effect, he simply climbed onto his lap, straddling it, and placed a kiss on his lips, taking Isaiah by surprise, but being welcome nonetheless. 

"I love you so fucking much, so fucking much..." the older man muttered into their kiss, as they both tried as hard as they could to undress in the extremely limited space. Layer upon layer was ditched onto the passenger or the backseat, and neither of them did as much as breathe until their undershirts came off, and they could feel each other's skin, along with the cold night air. 

"I love you too, so much, damn it" Finn uttered in response, unbuckling Isaiah's belt, unbuttoning his pants, and trying desperately to slide the remaining garments down his legs, despite his own body blocking the passage. 

"Fuck, come here" Isaiah demanded, using his strong arms to lift Finn off his legs for just long enough to lower his pants and underwear to knee-level. As soon as he placed Finn back where he was, the boy took his manhood onto his hand, stroking it skilfully, making damn sure to get Isaiah off as quickly as possibly, to relieve him from that hardness that made him throb. But the object of his affection steadied him, made him stop for a bit, while they both worked to undress Finn, an easier task given his position. 

"Inside me, please..." he whined, the freezing cold night air taking over his naked body, making him shiver. 

"No, I'm not going to do that, I've nothing here to..."

"Isaiah, please. I am begging you, please" Finn was almost crying, his despair becoming evident. As much as Isaiah wanted to avoid his suffering, maybe the sheer desire would help numb the pain. "I don't think it'll hurt"

Isaiah wasn't so sure. When it was him begging for it, they'd had some oil to make the process a bit easier; now, they had nothing, absolutely nothing, and Finn had never done it before. But his face, fuck, the way he looked, the tears streaming down his cheeks, almost as if his life depended on having Isaiah inside him... how could someone say no to that?

"Fuck it, alright, but we'll stop the moment you wince" Isaiah muttered, trying to think quickly. "On your knees" he demanded, and was met with absolute compliance. Finn was well trained, and managed to fit between the wheel and his best friend. As per usual, he was careful enough to spit onto Isaiah's manhood, to provide some lubrication, before using his mouth. Two licks were enough, Isaiah reckoned, as he pulled Finn up and made him straddle his lap again. 

"I was..."

"I know, shut up" Isaiah said, clenching his fists to keep things under control. Once he defeated the urge to be done there and then, he deemed it was time to proceed with their experiment, easing Finn onto his erection, so slowly he almost didn't move at all. As expected, it was pure and insane bliss, Finn's pupils blown wide, his fingers digging onto Isaiah's own shoulders. He knew so damn well how Finn felt, how he couldn't come to terms with what was happening, but most of all, with how amazing it felt. 

"Shit, oh my god, fuck" a littany of slurs and dirty words left Finn's mouth at an alarming pace, but he didn't seem to be in any sort of pain, just bewildered and, most of all, trembling, in the best of ways. 

"I'm sorry, I don't think I'm gonna... fucking hell... last much longer" Isaiah admitted, not even daring to move a muscle, allowing Finn to adjust and to cling to reality as best as he could, given the situation. 

"Me either, I don't care" Finn assured, taking it upon himself to start moving, slowly but surely, guiding Isaiah's hand to his own erection. 

Luckily, or unluckily, the night was absolutely quiet, with not a soul for miles to hear just how loud Finn came undone, in the space of five minutes. Not even Isaiah could say he'd heard his friend make a sound that loud, not even when he was shot. Granted, it pushed him to make a mess of them both too, but the calm that washed over them as they got dressed and started the car back on was worth every mess in the world. Of course everything would be fine, of course Luna would come running into their arms, agree to marry one of them, and allow them all to live in wedded bliss for the rest of their lives. What could go wrong? 


	15. Liquorice

Nothing could've prepared Isaiah and Finn for the reality of arriving in York, after a night without a wink of sleep. The two best friends and lovers didn't even thnk about where the nice plot of land Luna Lee had mentioned could be, all their planning went into how to steal a car from Tommy Shelby without being found out and chased. That part of the plan had gone perfectly, but this... seeing the plaque that announced they'd arrived to the town was like jumping in ice-cold water. With Isaiah behind the wheel, Finn's eyes were surveying the landscape, trying to find the smallest hint of a circus. 

"We could stop by a pub or something like that, try to get some information that way" Isaiah suggested, his heart beating frantically. 

"That is... probably a good idea" Finn replied, breathing in deep. He could feel Isaiah's nerves, and felt them himself. Their energy was off the charts, feeding off each others' restlessness. 

But there were no pubs in sight, and the ones that were there, were closed at ten in the morning. The only thing which was open was a small newsagents, with fresh newspapers hanging from the door. 

"You mean the Lee circus? Yeah, they're having their last show tonight I hear" the man behind the counter said, handing Finn and Isaiah the tobacco they purchased. "They've been having good audiences, they have. My grandkids went thrice" 

"Yeah, they're really good, aren't they?" Finn added, lighting a cigarette and looking around the shop. They were luckily still in town, which was a big plus; but fuck... it only made it more real, the closeness of Luna Lee, her snakes, and their destiny, which she held in her small, yet soft hand. "Would you mind pointing us in their direction?"

The man did as he was asked, telling them where to go, and where to turn, to reach the land the circus had rented, right outside of town, in the opposite direction; they'd have to cross York, and then take a sharp right, and it would hopefully get them to their destination. Once again, Isaiah drove, and Finn navigated, as best as he could, sincerely hoping he was not making them go around in circles. The town of York itself wasn't that big, but the bridges and the narrow streets made it harder than it had to be. 

But then, the houses became bigger, the terrain around each a bit broader: a sign that the place was about to be left behind. That meant the circus was closer, meant that Luna Lee herself was closer. 

"Take a right here, onto that gravel road" Finn said, and Isaiah guided the car to the poorly-maintained road. Not even a mile later, there they were: the wagons, and the big, colourful tent that housed the show itself. The sight of the camp made them both go silent, without anything else to say, to add, or discuss. They had gone over this subject matter time and time again, and all they had to do now was to put the plan into practice, and hope for the best. Truly, they were so scared that Luna was going to say no, that none of them had even uttered the possibility, as if it would jinx it all. 

"I'm gonna leave the car here" Isaiah finally broke the silence, his hands trembling a bit as he stopped the motor, and tried to steady himself. "Alright. Here we are. Shall we?" 

"Are you sure about this?" Finn asked, taking his lover's hand, and staring straight into his eyes. 

"Yes. Are you?" Isaiah replied, without any hesitation. He had been sure about joining the Peaky Blinders, he had been sure about losing his virginity, he had been sure about loving Finn, and he was sure about loving Luna. Being certain was such a rare privilege for a young man, but he was sure about those four things, he felt it in his heart, his mind, and even within his faith: Luna and Finn were meant to be his, he was meant to have two hearts, one for each, and each of them loved to the full extent of his abilities, none being left behind, none being worshipped at the detriment of the other. 

"I am" Finn replied, his voice absolutely secure, even though he felt anything but. It was a good plan, a good idea. He had even found a term for how they felt in a book: polyamory. And it made sense too, once someone started thinking about it. Neither him nor Isaiah had ever identified as homosexual, but rather as something more fluid. Now his heart and even his body had shifted to something quite peculiar, which was the inability to even feel desire toward another human, outside of Isaiah and Luna. It was the kind of emotional tunnel vision he sometimes got when he drank way too much. 

As soon as they stepped foot out of the car, two tall, brooding men approached them, each of them with a threatening look on their face. 

"Outsiders. State your business, or leave" one of them said, in a voice that sounded like a growl. 

"We're here to see ms. Luna Lee, if she's available" Isaiah replied, hoping by God the men didn't do anything stupid that would make Finn get trigger happy. 

"Names?" the other giant enquired, as more and more circus people gathered around them, like lions circling prey. 

"I'm Isaiah Jesus, and this is Finn Shelby. She won't be expecting us, but she does know us. We came from Birmingham, just to see her" he informed, seeing the men exchange a glance, and turn their backs to them, signaling them to follow. 

"I think they might kill us" Finn uttered, looking around, and laying his hand on his weapon, as Isaiah had predicted. 

"Nah, mate. We're good" he replied, more confidently than he felt. Surely they wouldn't kill two men just for visiting... right? Especially since they knew Luna by name?

They didn't walk very far, but stopped right outside the last wagon of the group, a narrow wooden construction, with the door open and a simple yellow sheet shielding the inside from visitors. 

"Mistress? Mistress, there are two boys here to see you" one of the giants said, making Finn clench his fists. Who the fuck were they calling boys? And who the fuck were they calling boys in front of the object of his affection? Was that what Luna though of the two of them? That they were nothing but boys, boy toys to be used for a night of moderate fun, discarded as soon as possible? Isaiah shared his anger, especially because it could mean Luna would want nothing to do with them if she only saw them as kids. 

"Boys? I'm not... oh"

Damn it, she looked radiant, with a bright pink dress, accentuated by a belt that cinched her waist, reminding them of the curves they knew were beneath the fabric. What was more, her hair was now completely white, while the eyes had gained a bit more colour, turned a bit ashier. The perky nose, the pink lips, everything was still the same, and her effect on their hearts was simple, yet devastating. 

"They're alright, thank you, guys. You two wanna come in?" Luna asked, as the giants walked away. However, neither Finn nor Isaiah said a single word, uttered a single sound, or moved a muscle. "Hello? You wanna come in, or what?" she repeated, snapping her fingers in front of them, trying to break them out of their transe. 

"Yes, yes, thank you" Finn ended up mumbling, as both him and Isaiah entered the wagon. It smelled like flowers and wood, and the thick walls seemed to keep out the outside cold fairly well: there was no fire, but it was warm and comfortable. The narrow bed was to their left, while a neatly organised desk was to the right, and that was it. Not even the snakes she kept as pets and props were around, but the two glass cases at the bottom of the bed, by the window, seemed to be prepared to receive them when needed. 

"They're with my friend, in her wagon" Luna informed, seeing Finn looking at the cases, "I'd offer you something to drink, but I don't really have nothing except for tea" 

"I'm alright, thanks. Finn?"

"I'm good, thank you" 

"Suit yourselves. Sit wherever, just please don't mess up my papers. I've no one to help me with money, and I've a system that allows me to keep at least the remainder of my sanity" she said, going to sit on the bed, cross-legged. Only when Finn and Isaiah had found spots to sit and were facing her, did she talk again. "So? Are you gonna tell me why you're here? To make sure I'm doing what Thomas Shelby hired me to do?"

"No, we're not here as Blinders" Isaiah assured, exchanging a look with Finn. He was the one supposed to go first according to their script, but the words didn't seem like they were gonna come out any time soon. "We're here as men, and we..." he started, but then the air failed to get through his nose, and he had to pause. "We're here as men, and we want to tell you that you have, in the brief time that we've known you, proved that there will never be another woman who can make us as happy, and as complete, as you"

"I think we knew from the first time we saw you that we would never be able to go back to who we were" Finn added, looking down at his hands, trying to stop his voice from shaking. "So we came here to ask you to please accept that we are in love with you, and to accept coming back to Birmingham, where I would be deeply honoured to make you my wife. It's not just to protect our relationship; it's to welcome you into it. More than that, it's because me and Isaiah had never felt whole until you were with us. And we're not able to let it go"

At first, Luna couldn't even pick one of them to stare at, her jaw on the floor. Whatever it was that she had antecipated when she saw them, this wasn't it, at all. She thought they were there to survey the gin distribution, or even to have a round two of their little tryst. But no, the two were there to ask her to marry Finn, which would mean marrying the two of them, and entering a three-way dance through uncharted romantic territory. 

"Well? How did we do? Did that make sense? It took a lot of practice" Finn laughed nervously, seeing that Isaiah had the courage to look at her, whereas he absolutely didn't. 

"You're serious? You want me to leave the circus, leave my business, and go back to Birmingham to marry you?" Luna asked, in complete and utter disbelief. "Are you out of your mind? In what world would Thomas Shelby let his baby brother marry me? I've a horrible reputation, and even if I don't deserve the most of it, he would never let this happen"

"He told me I could do as I pleased, as long as I found you and brought you back myself. Look, what we said, it's true. We don't know what we're doing either, all we know is that what we feel for each other, is the same we feel for you. No one is being coerced, none of us is going to be jealous, nothing. Isaiah wants you, and I want you. I want you as much as I want him, and fuck, I want you two so much it hurts me in the soul I was taught I didn't have. I never in my life wanted to get married, I was perfectly fine fucking whores in my office; now, I can't even think of fucking someone other than you without getting vomits. I don't know what it is, but it's destroying me to be away from you. And I know Isaiah feels the same. Nothing was ever the same after that night, and I think you know it" Finn stated, his voice cracking, tears in his eyes, pleading in a way no Peaky should plead. 

"Exactly what he said. Please, come home with us. Build this with us, help us figure it out. Don't make us go home without you" Isaiah added, taking Luna's hand and admiring the way her eyes softened and warmed up with each word. 

"The three of us. In a relationship. To see if it works?" Luna asked, shifting her gaze from one to the other. 

"No; we know it works. That night proved it. The three of us, in a relationship, from now until none of us is here anymore" Isaiah said, as Finn nodded. "Marry Finn on paper, marry us both in practice. Against the world, gorgeous"

"Against the fucking world" Finn repeated, cracking a smile for the first time. "Fuck them all, fuck the rules, fuck society. The three of us, against the fucking world"

Luna seemed to suck all the air around them into her lungs, before biting her lip, preventing herself from smiling too wide. In truth, it was simple: the other ones could take over the circus, she'd take the money she had gathered, her pythons, and live her own life, for the first time, with no responsabilities, no conventions, and nothing other than love. 

"Against the fucking world, gorgeous" she said, allowing herself to smile, and to be engulfed by the simple, yet sacred thought of going and never looking back, building something of her own, and for herself, with love flooding her being, beams of light finding a home inside her soul. 


	16. Hard Candy

Shelby manor was in sight now, and it was not any different. More than that, there didn't seem to be any sort of firing squad in the driveway, there was no police, not even Tommy at the door. Finn was surprised, but not as surprised as Isaiah, who had failed to tell his father what was going on, where he'd gone. All he'd said was that he was gonna go somewhere with Finn, in Blinder business. Now, they were both back, with someone else too, and willing to make a commitment that was for the rest of their life. There was something else now, there was something bigger. And Jeremiah would notice what was happening, he noticed something was different already. 

"Are you ready?" Isaiah himself asked, his heart beating as hard as ever. Luna's hands were shaking, but she reached for both Finn and Isaiah, grabbing their hands and squeezing. 

"As ready as I'll ever be" Finn replied, calming down slightly with Luna's touch. Isaiah felt the same, his disposition a bit more circumspect than Finn, who was slightly more emotional. "You?"

"Yes" the pastor's son replied, and the two men looked back at Luna, who bit her lip and nodded. She had already given up everything, she had already walked away from her life. And they had given her their security, they'd promised her forever; but now their families were about to get involved, and although Tommy had said he wouldn't be opposed to Luna being a Shelby in her own right, the reality of it was something a little different.

"I love you both" Finn said, sighing loudly, and trying to smile. 

"I love you too" Luna and Isaiah said too, trying to keep their wits about them. 

They oppened their doors, and got out of the car. Still, there was no one outside the house, everything was dead silent. It was almost eerie, and it didn't contribute for their peace of mind. Nevertheless, they needed to take step after step toward the main door, they needed to put the wheels in motion. There was nothing they could do about it, there was even less to wonder and antecipate. 

"Finn? Is that Finn?" a woman's voice reached them as soon as they entered through the door, making them freeze in their tracks. It seemed like Ada, but wasn't she supposed to be in London?

"If it is, I'll make fucking sure he learns his lesson..." now it was definetly Arthur, and the man himself walked into the foyer, red in the face, boiling inside. Behind him, Ada, and finally Tommy. It was this last one they were terrified with, his icy blue eyes not giving away anything. 

"Look, Tommy, I'm sorry about the car... but you said I needed to get Luna myself if I was to marry her, and for her to move here we'd need a means of transportation" Finn explained, looking at his brother directly, trying to avoid Arthur and Ada. He almost reached for Luna and Isaiah, but he managed to stop himself just in time. 

"Luna, did you accept my brother's hand in marriage?" Tommy asked, pushing Arthur aside, who looked like he was about to grab Finn by the neck and end him there and then, probably moving on to Isaiah next. 

"I did, yes. Tommy, I'm sorry they took the car, but it was for a good reason. It really was, and... I'm so happy, I feel safe for the first time in my life, I don't..." Luna said it all with a straight face, but something about that last bit made the tears fall from her eyes. Something about it made Tommy's look soften slightly, and even Arthur seemed shocked. As for Ada, she had nothing to add other than her own tears, as she walked up to Luna and held her in a tight hug. 

"Of course, of course, you're more than welcome to the family, absolutely" Ada said to her, not even giving half a shit about her brothers's blessings. She gave it to Luna and Finn, and that was that on that. 

"You know what's worse? It's the worry, kid. We were scared shitless, Jeremiah has been here twice a day asking for you two. We thought the worse, you've never driven and now you were driving to York. Do you understand what that does to your families? Do you even care?" Tommy said, walking up to Finn and Isaiah, shifting his gaze from one to the other. "What if we needed you, eh? What if something happened over here?"

"You sure as hell didn't care one bit about that when you married Grace, did you? You would have driven twice the miles, and walked three times that amount to get to her. Fuck the Blinders, fuck the company, fuck us all. Isn't that right?" Finn said, growing about five inches in height, his whole being radiating anger. It was a sight to behold, and Luna was grateful that Ada was holding her still. As for Isaiah, the closest to that display of ferocity, he didn't know whether he wanted to laugh, cry, or take Finn there and then. 

"Finn..." Ada advised, but it was too late: Tommy had grabbed his baby brother by the neck, backing him up against a window, and squeezing hard. avoiding the air going down to his lungs. 

"You never mention Grace's name again, and you never..." but Tommy Shelby never got to finish the sentence. Out of nowhere, he felt himself being propelled backwards, away from the youngest Shelby, going to land on the floor, the impact causing jolts of electricity on his spine. What was more, he hadn't even processed the impact when he was made to stand up by the collar of his shirt, fist after fist connecting with his cheekbones and jaw. 

"Don't... you... dare... lay... one... hand... on.. either... of... them... again" Isaiah made sure to speak each world carefully, so that there would be no misinterpretation. Each blow was a reminder, a reminder that Thomas Shelby, O.B.E. or not, would treat both Finn and Luna Lee as saints, untouchable and worshipped. There would be no more scenes of that sort, and he would make it pretty damn clear anytime the man wanted to. 

"Isaiah, please, stop! Isaiah, no" Luna said, launching forward as soon as she got over the shock of what was happening. Finn hadn't been able to, so it was up to her to try and stop the onslaught. With her small body and next to no strength, all she could try and do was call him to his senses, by taking his face into her hands and making his eyes focus on hers. "Stop that, it's alright. Calm down, sweetheart, it's ok. Focus on me, honey, that's it, eyes on me. Give me your hands"

To her surprise, Isaiah actually calmed down, stopped hitting Tommy, and pulled Luna into his arms, hiding his face in her shoulder. He wanted to cry, he wanted to die, he wanted to take it back, but he knew it was right, he wanted his dad, he wanted to take Luna and Finn and run away, he couldn't even understand why they hadn't done just that in the first place. 

While she tended to Isaiah, Arthur knelt next to Tommy, assessing his wounds. The oldest Shelby couldn't remember seeing anyone snap like that at Tommy, before, during or after the war. It was even more horrible that it had been Jeremiah's boy, Jeremiah's own son. Everyone knew him and Finn were close, like brothers, but this... this had been scary. it was dangerous. Finn never talked back to Tommy, and Isaiah never got physical with family.

"You want to marry him, Luna? Well, you bloody hell can marry him. Take him, and take Isaiah, get the fuck out of my sight. I'll send for you if there's any Peaky business that needs a couple of hotheaded fucking cunts" Tommy stated, his voice dangerously low and deep.

The three didn't need to be told twice: Luna took it upon herself to apologise to the Shelbies on their behalf, and then led the two boys outside, not stopping until they were well away from the Shelby manor grounds. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." was all Isaiah could say, looking at his hands in disbelief. 

"It's alright, my love, it's ok..." Luna whispered to him, letting him sit on the ground, with Finn kneeling by his side. "You lost it for a second, but everything will be fine"

"No, it's fucking not, how can you say that? He might as well have kicked me from the fucking Peakies, my dad is gonna kill me..." Isaiah said, on the verge of tears.

"He didn't, and he won't. He'll understand why you snapped, and..." Finn started, but he wasn't that sure. Tommy held grudges, everyone knew that. A beating wasn't a betrayal, but it was an act of defiance, both equally punishable. 

"We should go home" Luna suggested, looking around at the suitcases they'd taken from the car. She only had enough to fill two medium-sized bags, but her pythons were getting restless, she could feel it. 

"We should. And then, we'll go visit Jeremiah" Finn decided, knowing very well Isaiah's dad would be sick with worry. "He needs to marry us, today. I'm not waiting one more second. I'm sorry if you wanted a party and all that shit, but..."

"Absolutely not. I just need you two there, and I'm fine" Luna assured, every bit of her struggling with the guilt, the fear, the antecipation, and the love she felt for those two hotheads. It couldn't possibly have been a worse welcoming committee, but everything had a solution, there had to be a way to fix everything. Tommy was harsh, but not heartless, and maybe Ada, who had always been sweet, could intercede for them, try and show her brother Isaiah and Finn were tired, and probably filled to the eyeballs with cocaine. 

"This is all my fault, this is all my fucking fault, I shouldn't have gone with you to the manor, I should've just stayed outside" Isaiah lamented, looking around, trying to dry the tears that forced their way into his hazel eyes. 

"Listen to me, you two. You need to count our blessings: we're together, we're alive, we've a home to go to, we have all the time in the world to just be in love. That's the most precious thing in the world! What I said back there is true: I've never been happier, and the thought of being this happy forever, in the same place, with the two of you by my side... it sounds like a dream, like an impossible daydream I shouldn't be allowed to have. So please. Please, don't be angry, don't be mad; we'll let everyone cool down, and tomorrow we'll go see Tommy again, ask him to forgive us for everything, explain what happened. I promise you, it'll be alright" Luna said, sitting with her legs crossed, apparently used to sitting on gravel roads, consoling gang members after entering in a polyamorous arrangement with them.

"You really think we can work it out?" Finn asked, playing with the hem of her skirt. 

"Of course! Damn, pretty sure he's had worse things done to him by family and friends, and he keeps them around" Luna shrugged; with everything she'd seen in her life, taking a couple of punches to the face wasn't even that bad. 

"Yeah, I think so too" Finn agreed, laying his head on Isaiah's shoulder, as the pastor's son pulled Luna's legs to rest them on top of his own.


	17. Honey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok so it's not NSFW but I do want to tell you there's mention of death   
> Also I cried   
> And we're almost done!! For more on these cute babes, make sure to check out part 3 of this series!

Jeremiah Jesus had lost his wife eighteen years ago, when she gave birth to their second child: a stillborn baby girl, who took her mother's strength with her. It had been the last time the preacher believe in happiness, the last time he was able to comprehend the concept of joy. Not even his son, a good, strong, healthy boy could make him get over the loss of his love, and of their much desired baby. Likewise, Isaiah had grown up with a part of his heart aching with how much he missed his mother and baby sister, the space he'd made for them perpetually empty. 

"Isaiah? Isaiah, is that you, boy?" Jeremiah called out, when his son knocked on their front door. It was a bit similar to Ada's reaction, worry and parenthood taking over disappointment and fear.

"Yeah, dad, it's me" Isaiah himself replied, the door swinging open and the preacher pulling his son, holding him tightly, not even seeing the other two visitors at his door. "I'm so sorry, I'm really sorry"

"Don't do this again. Promise me. Look me in the eyes and say you will never do it again" Jeremiah demanded, holding his son by the shoulders and looking straight into his hazel eyes. 

"I promise. But dad, I know it was wrong, and that I should've said something, but it was for a good reason" Isaiah stated, swallowing and taking a deep breath. He was still unsure about how to say it, or if he should even say it at all. It would be easier to just ask Jeremiah to marry Finn and Luna, tell him they were in love, and that he'd gone with his best friend to get his bride. But it was only half the truth, and Isaiah didn't feel honest, or even in the right with that half-truth. 

"You kids come in and tell me inside, alright?" Jeremiah suggested, seeing the very young girl they were with, and how positively bizarre she looked, what with her white hair and transparent eyes. 

They didn't need to be told twice, and the three walked into the humble home of the Jesus family, claen and organised, but sadly simple, as if no one with a soul lived there. The only personal traits were the religious images, and one single picture of the three of them, when Lucy was still alive, her belly clearly swollen due to an advanced pregnancy. Finn shot Luna a look, and directed her eyes to the photograph. 

"I can make some tea" Isaiah said, but didn't even wait for replies, heading straight to the kitchen. Finn knew Jeremiah well, and could introduce him to Luna. Maybe the two of them would be able to decide whether their arrangement was to be disclosed or not; Isaiah sure as hell couldn't figure out what to do, and it wasn't for lack of thinking about it either. 

"Jeremiah, this is Luna Lee" Finn started, allowing some time for them both to shake hands and sit down in the living room. "You've probably heard of her, she's..."

"The snake charmer. Tommy said something about it when you were last in town with your circus" the preacher replied, looking at her and evaluating just how that small and mostly peculiar creature managed a whole circus, while enchanting snakes much bigger than herself. "It is a pleasure to meet you, ms. Lee"

"The pleasure is mine, mr. Jesus. It's an honour to meet Isaiah's father" Luna replied, the twinkle in her eye denouncing how much she appreciated being inside a home, where it was warm and safe. 

"I suppose you've been to see your brother, Finn" 

"I have, and... well, let's just say it didn't go very well. But that's not of importance, we can work it out and you'll probably hear it from Tommy himself" Finn argued, trying to find the best way to continue into the part of the conversation he couldn't keep avoiding. It was like ripping bandages, and the sooner the better. "Jeremiah, here's the situation: I'm in love with your son, the same way I'm in love with Luna; they feel the same for me, and for each other. I'm not asking you to understand, and I do realise it takes time to process it. But we've agreed to a relationship, the three of us. For that to work, I've gotten Tommy's blessing to marry Luna legally, which for us would mean the three of us marrying. I'm here asking for your blessing, for your son's hand in marriage, and for you to officiate what needs officiating, as soon as possible"

From the kitchen, the noise of metal falling on pavement, and muttered swearing. The house wasn't big, and Isaiah had heard every single one of Finn's words. Even Luna, who prided herself in her empathy, was taken completely by surprise, not even believing what the hell was going through his mind to expose them like that. Jeremiah could very well end whatever it was they had planned, he could go tell Tommy, he could spread the rumour...

"I know" was all Jeremiah said, his face completely undisturbed. 

"You know? You know what?" Isaiah asked, coming back empty handed, despite his promise. 

"I know you two are in love, and I've probably known for longer than you have. As for you, Luna... may I call you Luna?" the preacher asked, receiving an emphatic nod in return. "I can see that you're not a child of this realm, and that these two men are very devoted to you. I couldn't ask for better for my son, and I have complete confidence and trust that you know what you're doing"

In the twenty-two, twenty, and sixteen years the three had lived, no one had ever told them they trusted their decisions. To receive validation now, for the biggest and most unbelievable decision of their lives... it was incredible. It made them sigh in relief, the tension they'd accumulated leaving their bodies, letting peace and happiness in. 

"Dad, are you serious? You give us your blessing?" Isaiah asked, trying seriously not to cry yet again. 

"Yes" Jeremiah assured, nodding to emphasize his affirmation. "What is more, if you don't want to bother with the formalities, it would be my pleasure to officiate the cerimony, and do it before the sun sets"

"I can't believe this" Finn repeated to himself, under his breath, his whole form trembling with excitement. "Jeremiah, we... I will never be able to thank you enough for this. It means the whole world and then more. Truly, thank you"

"Thank you, a million times, I couldn't agree more" Luna agreed, her own eyes producing even more tears, although she'd promised herself not to cry anymore. 

As for Isaiah, he couldn't do anything else other than hug his old man, so tightly Jeremiah protested. 

* * *

"Finn and Isaiah, I pledge to you to be your loving friend and partner in marriage. To talk and to listen, to trust and appreciate you; to respect and cherish your uniqueness; and to support, comfort, and strengthen you through life’s joys and sorrows. I promise to share hopes, thoughts, and dreams as we build our lives together. May our lives be ever intertwined, our love keep us together. May we build a home that is compassionate to all, full of respect and honour for others and each other. And may our home be forever filled with peace, happiness, and love" Luna said those words, her eyes filled to the brim with tears, her voice cracking, trembling, her hands the only steady part of her being. There was no sound in the world apart from her vows, as she repeated what Jeremiah asked her to repeat, both their names in her promise, all her soul belonging to them. It was perfect, every word true and sincere, her whole heart beaming, flooding with a joy unknown to many. There was no need for rings, for fancy dresses, parties, anything; just the three of them and God, whom she knew would give them His blessing, a God who was full of love, and not of hatred or judgement. The building of a home was all she'd ever wanted, a home filled with beauty and happiness; the safety, the sweetness, the forever those two men meant. 

"I, Isaiah, take you, Luna and Finn, to be my partners, loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the people you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us" the promise of growth, the promise of support, in the good days and the bad: the only vows Isaiah could ever consider, the only truths he knew how to put into words. No matter what happened, no matter what they needed, and no matter what life threw at them, they'd preservere, strong in their unity, undefeated in their affection. 

"I believe in you, the people you will grow to be and the people we will be together. With my whole heart, I take you as my wife and as my husband, acknowledging and accepting your faults and strengths, as you do mine. I promise to be faithful and supportive and to always make our family’s love and happiness my priority. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph. I will dream with you, celebrate with you and walk beside you through whatever our lives may bring. You are mine — my loves and my life, today and always." Finn went last, the icing on the cake, the emotion to Isaiah's common sense and to Luna's empathy. The wild child, the hothead, the loose cannon, whose heart beat just for them, whose legs walked through hell for them. The overprotected kid who'd seen too much, the parentless child, the shadow of his brothers, was now a man, a man capabable of the noblest acts of love. 

"From Philippians 1: This is my prayer: that your love might become even more and more rich with knowledge and all kinds of insight. I pray this so that you will be able to decide what really matters and so you will be sincere and blameless on the day of Christ. As you have accepted the vows of the other, you may now go forth and fulfill your vows with the same love and devotion which now blossoms between you. I now pronounce that you are married" Jeremiah concluded, somehow incredibly sure that they could do it, that if anyone could make the most peculiar of arrangements work, it would be the three of them. It was meant to be, and out the corner of his eye he could almost see Lucy, beaming with pride and happiness, the lightness of her being filling the church with even more joy. 

Jeremiah Jesus had seen it all, and love was the only thing he could ever believe in; and in seeing it so obviously and irrevocably displayed strenghtened his belief that there was nothing purer than the marriage he'd officiated. The documents were signed, stating that Finn and Luna were husband and wife, a mere formality none of them paid any mind to. After all, what's a piece of paper in the face of love, a document in the light of devotion, the law in the face of a blessing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A HUGE shoutout to https://www.queertheology.com and https://www.younghipandmarried.com for helping me out with this chapter!!!!
> 
> And we're almost done!! For more on these cute babes, make sure to check out part 3 of this series!


	18. Ice Cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you a billion times for getting here!!  
> Head on to part 3 of my Anarchy series to read more about these guys!

Birdie Pollyanna was born on the first day of Spring, on a gorgeous early morning. She'd been born in a hospital, a luxury the Shelbies could now afford, and one neither fathers nor mother would pass on, to ensure the health of the baby, and of Luna herself. The pregnancy hadn't been too complicated, the only lows being the morning sickness and severe case of cravings. Once the baby entered the world, all blonde hair, rosy cheeks and dimples, all those around her swooned, cried, and cheered. She had Luna's soft features, the rose bud lips, and the impossibly pale skin; the rest, including the eyes, was Finn's, even his freckles represented on the baby's body. The seizures started within the year, and although medicated, the littlest baby Birdie was quite affected by them, needing more help to start crawling, walking and standing on her own. She managed those milestones, always under the watchful eye of Finn, Isaiah, and Luna, none of them more in love with the little one than the others. 

Then came Bunny Ada, who entered the world kicking and screaming off the top of her lungs, with a head full of black curls, golden skin, and strong limbs right off the bat. Where Birdie was Finn, Bunny was Isaiah, and the look on the nurses face was priceless. She had a loud, commanding personality, inherited from the side of the family who preached sermons and read the Bible to their congregations. Bunny could run before she turned one, and had said her first word (a bad imitation of her sister's name) before she completed half a year. The arrival of a sister helped Birdie become more independent, and her two years of age displayed progress beyond belief. 

The third girl, Kitty Joan, joined the family when her mother Luna was twenty-two. She was another angel, like her two sisters, with dimples, freckles, soft blonde hair, and eyes of steel. She'd been born completely silent, and both her and her mother barely escaped the claws of death. But it wasn't their time, and the baby girl grew up surrounded by two older sisters, not to mention devoted cousins and loving family and friends. The youngest of the girls was the only one who mastered music, playing piano and violin quite well ever since she was little. 

"The Three Girls", as they were known in Birmingham, were fuel to the fire of gossip. Everyone knew about the preacher's son cohabitating with the young Shelby couple, and the talk of the town was how Finn Shelby, the least impressive of his brothers, was being cheated on. Birdie's birth seemed to end it, but two years later, Bunny made her appearance, and everyone was sure something was going on between Luna Lee-Shelby, and Isaiah Jesus. Luckily enough, none of them really paid it much attention: what they did with their lives was their business, and their business alone. Jeremiah knew, but no one else, and that was how they wanted it to be. What they shared was theirs, and their alone. 

The babies were fiercely desired and planned, each of them a joy beyond words for the three of them. It didn't matter who'd been the one to conceive each little one, it didn't matter one bit: as long as they were happy, their parents were happy. The home Luna had dreamed of, the kids running around, the love, the warmth and the commitment, had never wavered. She was in love, she was loved, and her children and loves were healthy. There was beauty in staying still, sweetness in the routines. For her, and for Finn and Isaiah too, life was perfect. 

It was fate who brought them together, passion that made them fall in love, and devotion that granted them their happily ever after. Nothing wrong could ever feel so right, and no scripture could set asunder what love had brought together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Head on to part 3 of my Anarchy series to read more about these guys!


End file.
